thankful

Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

This will be short because there is funnel of gravy with my name on it.

What I’m thankful for:

  • funnels of gravy
  • priceless sculptures

exhibit A

  • families who pose in unitards

  • celebrities’ obligatory Thanksgiving comments

  • Advice books

  • Fifty Shades-inspired homages

And…..what am I missing?

Oh yes, all of you. For reals, people. This has been one of the most creatively fulfilling things I have ever done, and that’s saying a lot because I once covered a lawnmower race. All kidding aside, thanks for reading me, giving me inspiration and making me laugh.

Now go eat your weight in gravy. Even if you aren’t American and celebrating Thanksgiving, it’s still a great idea.

Dearest Reader: Speaker7 is attempting to write a post every day in November so she doesn’t have to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). This is why she has intruded on your holiday. 

Give Thanks…for Sauna Pants

Thanksgiving is that annoying little holiday that gets in the way of me pitching a tent outside Target in hopes of buying this:

Yes, there are only four shopping days left until the consumer frenzy that is Black Friday. What better way to cap off a day expressing your thanks for family, friends and health then by elbowing someone’s else grandma in the face to get this great deal at Walmart:

I don’t know about you, but I am extra excited this year. This year the stores are opening at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day!!!

That means I can have this in my mouth four hours earlier than I thought:

Thankful.

That means I can spend the remainder of Black Friday on actual Friday wearing these:

And using this:

You know with Black Friday intruding earlier and earlier into the Thanksgiving holiday, it’s only a matter of time before we forget Thanksgiving existed all together, and instead transform it into Black Friday Eve.

FYI – this is what I want for next Black Friday Eve…pssttt! It’s at K-Mart!

And then we don’t have to even worry about cooking a turkey for future Black Friday Eves.

Give thanks.

Dearest Reader: Speaker7 is attempting to write a post every day in November so she doesn’t have to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). She would feel more inspired if she was wearing sauna pants while she did this…hint…hint…