oxycontin

“It Makes (Me) a (Turd), Right?”

It must be hard to have had four wives, and to be a recovering Oxycontin addict.

Maybe that’s why radio “personality” Rush Limbaugh says horrible, horrible things? All the time. Why just yesterday, he referred to the woman who was banned from speaking at a Congressional hearing on birth control religious freedom as a “slut.”

“What does it say about the college co-ed Sandra Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex, what does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. What does that make us? We’re the pimps,” Rush huffed into his microphone, his jowls flapping in indignation.

Well she didn’t actually go before a congressional committee because the head of the congressional committee felt she had no place in a discussion about birth control…er…religious freedom. That was the place of a number of religious men.

But Rush has a point. Are we suppose to be these women’s pimps, dawg? Wait–if we’re the pimps, do we get in on the action, baby? Show daddy some sugar, baby. Aw, now you’re making Speaker7 Daddy angry, baby, and you do not want to make Speaker7 Daddy angry. Speaker7 Daddy does not like to mess up his merchandise, but he will, if he have to, right baby?

What is it with these women wanting to slut it up by controlling the number of children they have? I remember when a friend of mine went on the pill in college to deal with her highly irregular periods, I thought: “slutbag.”

Oh, I know..I know. I know why Rush is so upset. When Rush was buying his Oxycontin illegally, he was not being reimbursed by his insurance company. That is so unfair!! When Rush was lying on his couch in an Oxycontin-induced stupor, fiddling with his nonexistent penis, some college slut was regulating her menstrual cycle in a very slut-tastic manner.

In between her bouts of sex, Sandra Fluke has spoken out against Rush Limbaugh saying “No woman deserves to be disrespected in this manner.”

A cowed Rush said today she should buy $1 condom at CVS if she wants to continue to be the whore she is.

Maybe that’s the Oxycontin-craving talking….or maybe it makes Rush a turd, right?

Yeah, a turd. In fact, a Turd of the Week™. Enjoy it, slut!