nature

Politicians Say the Darndest Things.

Occasionally a kernel of truth rises above all the noise and overload in our media-saturated society, and it makes you tear out your ear buds, log out of Facebook, turn off your TV, pause your Xbox, switch your ringer to vibrate and deflate your blow-up doll so you can let that truth wash over you as if you were in a truth carwash.

Bob Marshall, an actual elected representative in Virginia, called for an end to state funding of Planned Parenthood because nature takes its vengeance on women who abort fetuses by giving them defective babies.

Now some are in a tizzy over this remark claiming it’s batshit crazy (I’m paraphrasing), but I applaud Bob Marshall for being so upfront about the numerous abortions his mother clearly had that left him with the traumatic brain damage he suffers from today.

Mothers should breathe easy that while nature may be throwing tsunamis into their damaged-by-abortion birth canals, their handicapped children could someday be elected to public office and say the most abhorrent statements imaginable.

Now Bob is a little upset that his remarks were being posted on social networking sites leading to online petitions calling for his resignation when usually he could say this crazy shit without anyone batting an eye misconstrued by journalists whose moms clearly had abortions causing them to have the taking-out-of-context handicap and write that a elected representative actually felt it appropriate to say God punished women for abortions. He never said God was punishing women for their sinful ways. He said nature. And really, it’s punishing the kids.

Whew! Thank Nature that was cleared up. I’m sure the millions of children with disabilities feel better too.

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