Hooter-rific!

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching.

Before you resort to yanking a handful of dandelions out of the yard and purchasing this card:

consider taking Mom here:

Hooter’s is offering moms a free meal on Mother’s Day as long as they bring proof of their mommyhood like a child or a photograph of their stretched out uteri, which will then be placed on the Hooter’s Loves Your Cooter bulletin board.

Apparently Hooter’s is having trouble attracting a female client base. Hm. That’s puzzling. Maybe ladies aren’t into the oversexualization and objectification of the Hooter’s girls or the rape den-like atmosphere?

But a free meal!?! Well then get me a white T-shirt, spray me with a hose and let me wrestle in jello because I am so there, buddy. With my child too!

Let marketing wizard Dave Henniger explain: “We know you don’t think of Hooters as a typical place to take Mom, but we want to make it more appealing for Mom to come in. We view Mom as a pair of tits with legs too.”

“And we have salad, ladies, so you don’t get all fat on us!”

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone.

A Day of Reflection Brought to You By…

Today is a day of reflection. One thing I remember about the 9/11 attacks was that short period after where it seemed as if all advertising had stopped. It was as if our culture had woken up to the notion that crass consumerism meant nothing, and that there was more to the American identity than shopping–that we were all connected, not only as Americans, but as citizens of the world who have all suffered from acts of terrorism.

As I mentioned above, this was a very, very brief respite from marketing and advertising, which is how we are able to have this:

While Hooters ® remembers, it would also like you to know it’s offering a special on its “Nearly World Famous!” chicken wings.