help

Writer’s Block is *insert word*

Writer’s block is soooooooo. . . um. . . green? No, that’s not it. Chalky? Viscous? No.

Let’s go with pfffffttttttttt.

jjkfljl’;jkjl?

So yes, I kind of have it, and it’s been something I’ve been trying to fix by taking a plunger to the head. But I am still clogged up with hair, toothpaste residue and foot odor cream. I have started many, many posts, and yup, they’re as finished as this sen–

Here are the top blog posts that failed to make it. Enjoy.

Lieberty University

Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney gave the commencement address at Liberty University, one of the greatest universities to teach that the Earth is a mere 6,000 years old.

Below is a transcript of his remarks:

To the graduates, the children are our future. Except the gay ones. Your college’s founder Jerry Falwell was a great man. I remember how great he looked when he said that teletubby was gay because it carried a purse. Marriage is a sacred covenant between a male teletubby and a female teletubby. How do you know which is which? Look at the genitals and accessories. Amen.

Continuing Failure

Ah…summer is just around the corner and now I know how I’m going to spend it. The local college just mailed out its continuing education course list. There are people jumping around in potato sacks on the back cover possibly portending a course on Brady Bunch triviaQ: How many times did Alice and Sam do it in the meat locker?

A-ha! I found the course that will help me transition to a new career:

Vintage Costume Jewelry.

Learn about its varied and bloodied history while contemplating the fact that you paid money to do so. Bedazzlers optional.

Donnie Deutsch for President

Donnie Deutsch is a professional ??? and carves out a few precious moments to share his wisdom on the Today show when it needs to fill seven minutes because the woman who has a cat that can beat box has canceled. Today Matt Lauer wants to know his thoughts on the death penalty particularly this situation involving a 9/11 widower who offered to speak out against the death penalty in the trial of Khalid Sheik Mohammed.

Donnie gave this thoughtful response:

“To me, you know, it’s easy to say, look everybody has a right to their opinion, and the death penalty or not the death penalty to me I thought it was an incredible insensitivity to the other families that lost family members that maybe didn’t feel that way. I don’t think it’s the place to grandstand. He is one of this very, very tragic group.”

Well said.

What the @#!@&! is Yahoo! Shine?

Sex survey! This was performed by a magazine in collaboration with Yahoo! Shine, “the leading site for women’s lifestyle content.”

Here are some of the findings:

– 94% of women say they have never heard of Yahoo! Shine.

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