freedom fries

Humbert Humbert approves

I try to stick up for the French because they helped us in the American Revolution, Pepe le Pew is the greatest cartoon character of all time and freedom fries taste terrible, but then they go and do this. And I’m like Sacre bleu, man! The ad campaign for sexy lingerie for little girls….it’s just….it’s just….eh. Who is your target audience? Creepy Uncle Carl who is not allowed to be left alone with the children?

I initially thought the ad campaign was dreamt up by 51-year-old Doug Hutchinson to make his marriage to 16-year-old Courtney Stodden seem less barfesque (that’s French for icky). But no, it’s legit. It’s legit because it was on the Today show, which I watch to learn the most important stories of the day.

I tuned in to see Smarm-Monster aka Jeff Rossen  “reporting” a hard-hitting story about a store not seeking publicity by asking a reality-based carbon life form to not do something. Since both covet their privacy, I’m declining to name them out of respect.

Then the story about the kid lingerie came up. Or maybe it came after the shark attack story, I not sure. Either way I’m glad that starving thing in Somalia cleared up because that was getting kind of depressing.

So, merde. French, we still have Paris, but you got to cut this shit out.