Orange Fury

I watched Donald Trump’s speech Thursday at the Republican National Convention. It was…uh…good? I’m afraid I don’t know what words mean anymore. It was definitely loud, I’ll give him that. Lots and lots of yelling. I felt like I was back in 9th grade band.

I had not realized that America had become the Thunderdome, a hellish landscape filled  with marauding gangs of illegal immigrants in place of bikers. Um, okay?

It was a laundry list of a country in crisis. While it was low on information and high on fear mongering, it had little in how Trump will actually accomplish anything other than by saying “believe me, I’ll do this.”

I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you.

I condensed the best parts of the speech:

He insisted he would honor us with his “truth.”

liar

His obvious affection for the GLBTQ community

gays

His “policies”.

laws

thefixer

isis

beatles

maryceleste

becky

vincefoster

He declared he was the voice of the voiceless.

compassion

oppression

yourvoice

SHOUTING

A few other gems:

judge

trumpu

wall

And finally:

stink

I don’t know. It kind of smells like napalm.

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27 comments

  1. Accidents and suicides are the leading avoidable causes of death in the US.

    To rape the public with fear mongering is akin to selling pro-wrestling.

    Education and mental health treatment would be nice and would probably have a knock-on effect.

    Paranoia and rage ….not so much. Blistering idiocy.

    But most folks do want to be happy.

  2. “I watched Donald Trump’s speech”

    Enjoy therapy. Now watch Kaine’s speech, it’ll be the first time you smile watching politics.

    “It kind of smells like napalm.”

    That’s the tanning cream interacting with orangutan DNA.

  3. WELCOME BACK, SPEAKER7! How goes things in your world? I knew the Donald Dumpster would bring you out of hiding. I hoped. And now we can go into hiding TOGETHER! Away from marauding gangs of Democrats bent on equal rights, away from people who actually READ! It’ll be fantastic.

    1. Aw…thanks. I don’t know how back I am. I get more disillusioned and depressed by the state of America daily. I might need to get into gardening.

  4. Brilliant. We caught bits of it DownUnder and think we know what happened to his tan – it’s the hole in the ozone layer. Hope he doesn’t come down here to fix it. 😦

      1. lmao – fear not! I’ll sponsor you, but let’s hope you don’t have to move. I hear Michelle Obama gave a great speech at the Democratic convention today! 😀

  5. Thank goodness you are here to help out with this mess. The only news I trust comes from humorists, because look at our candidates. I do recall thinking “Well at least we can expect the usual boredom at the Democratic Convention!” Why do I say these things? Head/desk.

    I think if Donald opens his mouth wide enough, he might create a black hole and suck himself and his supporters inside. Wouldn’t that be YUGE?

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