I watched Donald Trump’s speech Thursday at the Republican National Convention. It was…uh…good? I’m afraid I don’t know what words mean anymore. It was definitely loud, I’ll give him that. Lots and lots of yelling. I felt like I was back in 9th grade band.
I had not realized that America had become the Thunderdome, a hellish landscape filled with marauding gangs of illegal immigrants in place of bikers. Um, okay?
It was a laundry list of a country in crisis. While it was low on information and high on fear mongering, it had little in how Trump will actually accomplish anything other than by saying “believe me, I’ll do this.”
I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you.
I condensed the best parts of the speech:
He insisted he would honor us with his “truth.”
His obvious affection for the GLBTQ community
His “policies”.
He declared he was the voice of the voiceless.
A few other gems:
And finally:
I don’t know. It kind of smells like napalm.
Speaker7 
All that hollow bloviating ran about 70 minutes long. He must thing that editing is a sign of weakness.
Well he did release that video outlining how he received 24 minutes of applause so….bravo to him?
Accidents and suicides are the leading avoidable causes of death in the US.
To rape the public with fear mongering is akin to selling pro-wrestling.
Education and mental health treatment would be nice and would probably have a knock-on effect.
Paranoia and rage ….not so much. Blistering idiocy.
But most folks do want to be happy.
I’m going to share this on Facebook. HILARIOUS. 🙂
Thanks! I have to mock DT because otherwise I would be curled up in a corner crying.
“I watched Donald Trump’s speech”
Enjoy therapy. Now watch Kaine’s speech, it’ll be the first time you smile watching politics.
“It kind of smells like napalm.”
That’s the tanning cream interacting with orangutan DNA.
I had not realized that was one of the side effects.
Brilliant!
I’m the best! Who writes posts better than me? Nobody! Believe me, I alone can post on wordpress.
How did you manage to sit through it?
It seriously affected my health. I’ve been sick since.
Sadly, few of the folks watching it heard the subtext …
I switched from reading this piece — http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/trump-putin-yes-it-s-really-a-thing — about Trumps real connections with Putin. This guy gets scarier every day.
Even more poignant in light of the Russian hack of DNC emails.
Yes.
So good to see you here!
WELCOME BACK, SPEAKER7! How goes things in your world? I knew the Donald Dumpster would bring you out of hiding. I hoped. And now we can go into hiding TOGETHER! Away from marauding gangs of Democrats bent on equal rights, away from people who actually READ! It’ll be fantastic.
I’m game. I hope Canada doesn’t build a wall to keep us out.
Me, too. They would be within their rights to even make us pay for it.
Thank you for this. I’ve missed you.
Aw…thanks. I don’t know how back I am. I get more disillusioned and depressed by the state of America daily. I might need to get into gardening.
But your posts are the antidote to said depression!! More! More!
Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
Brilliant. We caught bits of it DownUnder and think we know what happened to his tan – it’s the hole in the ozone layer. Hope he doesn’t come down here to fix it. 😦
What’s your immigration policy? In case Trump gets elected. I’m asking for a “friend.”
lmao – fear not! I’ll sponsor you, but let’s hope you don’t have to move. I hear Michelle Obama gave a great speech at the Democratic convention today! 😀
That’s exactly what I heard.
Usually his speech is ME ME ME ME ME ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME ME ME ME.
Thank goodness you are here to help out with this mess. The only news I trust comes from humorists, because look at our candidates. I do recall thinking “Well at least we can expect the usual boredom at the Democratic Convention!” Why do I say these things? Head/desk.
I think if Donald opens his mouth wide enough, he might create a black hole and suck himself and his supporters inside. Wouldn’t that be YUGE?