Donald Trump, America’s favorite sentient hemorrhoid, is on the cover of Time magazine. According to Time’s editorial staff, several tag lines were tested out to see which best encapsulated the essence of a Trump presidency:
They finally went with this one:
In the video interview, Trump continued to hypnotize the electorate with his special brand of jingoism and his hair confetti.
He pontificated on why he was a better candidate than Hillary Clinton, the likely Democratic nominee:
Trump thoughtfully explained how, unlike all other politicians, he was no puppet. He did all his own thinking.
He spoke of a broken, troubled country and how he was just the guy who could fix it.
He presented his reasoned and researched stance on immigration.
The editors attempted to include a photograph of Trump with a bald eagle, but the eagle kept attempting to eat Trump’s head having mistaken it for a muskrat carcass.
They were forced to go with a secondary shot.
Speaker7 
Please, Speaker 7, can’t we just add Trump to the the Industrial Shit Sack, tie off the top, and be done with it and him?
With my luck, though, they’ll put him on a truck with all the other NYC garbage and drive it down to me in Virginia.
Just don’t let him come to Texas. We are already full of morons here.
The problem is an industrial size shit sack is not big enough to contain all the shittiness from this presidential election. We need an entire island or continent, maybe.
As I Canadian – I approve this ad. (This is an ad isn’t it?)
I’m going to say “yes” because I think that will make everybody feel better. It’s like when I lie to my son about Santa Claus.
Oh Speaker 7, how I’ve missed your wit and humor 🙂 This is an awesome post 🙂
The Trump posts really write themselves.
Ha! Awesome post as always.
I told another blogger this morning that every time the media says Trump’s name, I die a little inside. I thought for sure he’d have faded out by now. Guess the laugh’s on me, because he just keeps picking up steam. But what fodder he gives us. In fact, I reference his mouth/intestinal tract connection in a pic in my upcoming Monday post too. The guy just invites it.
I hope you’ll continue to do posts as this election season progresses. Love your take on things!
I really hope he gets the Republican nomination because the entertainment would be endless. Except there is the slight chance he’d actually get elected, since there are a lot of stupid people here. So maybe not.
I hear you. I can’t deny it–I love watching the circus. But if he actually becomes the ringmaster, I think I’ll go into a four to eight year catatonia.
The Trump mouth/butt connections are limitless. I console myself in remembering that Michele Bachmann was going to “win” but then flamed out spectacularly. Then again are there any normal GOP candidates? I’m now going to eat my weight in cake.
Ha, I’ll bring the ice cream.
I remember when Time magazine had a little respect. I think they lost it sometime after getting lazy and declaring the Person of the Year to be YOU by putting a little reflective sign on the cover. Nice play, Time. I’d still rather have the little reflective cover than the Donald, though.
I think the only person who liked that cover was Donald Trump.
HAHAHA!!! (America’s favorite sentient hemorrhoid) HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Of course, that’s not a very nice thing to say. (About hemorrhoids that is. They’re not all bad guys)
You’re right…that was a low blow. Get it? A low blow?
I have to disagree. On the sentient part.
I agree. To agree. To disagree. (Does that even make any sense?)
Back in the old days of comedy, we had Bushisms. Comedy is so much funnier these days with Trumpisms. In light of Donald Trump, I wonder how anyone could have laughed at all that old stuff.
Trump makes Bush look like a statesman. This is how low we’ve sunk. But maybe Limberbutt McCubbins will secure the Republican nomination.
I doubt it. My understanding is that McCubbins is running for the Democratic nod (and pet, and kitty toy).
Then all is lost.
This is hilarious and I’m sharing it everywhere.
Hahaha. 🙂 Maybe that shit sack should be flushed …