Trump Dumps

Donald Trump, America’s favorite sentient hemorrhoid, is on the cover of Time magazine. According to Time’s editorial staff, several tag lines were tested out to see which best encapsulated the essence of a Trump presidency:

trumpbankrupttrumpirantrumpfatpigtrumptrumpsteaktrumpmexicantrumpbirdnesttrumpshoetrumpisisThey finally went with this one:

trumpanusmouth

In the video interview, Trump continued to hypnotize the electorate with his special brand of jingoism and his hair confetti.

He pontificated on why he was a better candidate than Hillary Clinton, the likely Democratic nominee:

trumpbangTrump thoughtfully explained how, unlike all other politicians, he was no puppet. He did all his own thinking.

trumppolicy

He spoke of a broken, troubled country and how he was just the guy who could fix it.

trumppoliticalcorrectHe presented his reasoned and researched stance on immigration.

trumpimmigrationThe editors attempted to include a photograph of Trump with a bald eagle, but the eagle kept attempting to eat Trump’s head having mistaken it for a muskrat carcass.

They were forced to go with a secondary shot.

trumpeagleshitsack

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24 comments

  1. Please, Speaker 7, can’t we just add Trump to the the Industrial Shit Sack, tie off the top, and be done with it and him?

    With my luck, though, they’ll put him on a truck with all the other NYC garbage and drive it down to me in Virginia.

    1. The problem is an industrial size shit sack is not big enough to contain all the shittiness from this presidential election. We need an entire island or continent, maybe.

  2. Ha! Awesome post as always.

    I told another blogger this morning that every time the media says Trump’s name, I die a little inside. I thought for sure he’d have faded out by now. Guess the laugh’s on me, because he just keeps picking up steam. But what fodder he gives us. In fact, I reference his mouth/intestinal tract connection in a pic in my upcoming Monday post too. The guy just invites it.

    I hope you’ll continue to do posts as this election season progresses. Love your take on things!

    1. I really hope he gets the Republican nomination because the entertainment would be endless. Except there is the slight chance he’d actually get elected, since there are a lot of stupid people here. So maybe not.

      1. I hear you. I can’t deny it–I love watching the circus. But if he actually becomes the ringmaster, I think I’ll go into a four to eight year catatonia.

    2. The Trump mouth/butt connections are limitless. I console myself in remembering that Michele Bachmann was going to “win” but then flamed out spectacularly. Then again are there any normal GOP candidates? I’m now going to eat my weight in cake.

  3. I remember when Time magazine had a little respect. I think they lost it sometime after getting lazy and declaring the Person of the Year to be YOU by putting a little reflective sign on the cover. Nice play, Time. I’d still rather have the little reflective cover than the Donald, though.

  4. Back in the old days of comedy, we had Bushisms. Comedy is so much funnier these days with Trumpisms. In light of Donald Trump, I wonder how anyone could have laughed at all that old stuff.

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