My Birthday Gift From WordPress

Forty years ago today, I made my arrival into the world.

Little did the world know that nearly 40 years later, that little darling baby girl would write about post about gonorrhea tonsils and see it get Freshly Pressed.

Did the delivery doctor have an inkling? Say when he cut the umbilical cord, that one day that red, slimy, mutant-looking screaming thing would craft a post that not only combined a fear of potatoes with STD-infected tonsils, but would also be able to insert the words “27 vaginas?”

Probably not. That’s kind of a weird thing to think about a baby.

Still this was a nice early present from the WordPress staff.

I promise my new readers that I write about other things besides venereal diseases although tomorrow’s post will make it seem like I just lied.

In fact, I just checked my search engine terms and am intrigued by this idea: chuck e cheese birther.

That seems about right.

Dearest Reader: Speaker7 is attempting to write a post every day in November so she doesn’t have to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). This is the fifteenth post. Halfway there. Lord help us all.  


  1. Congrats on your birthday and on being Freshly Pressed. Who knew a potato would intrigue the powers that be? Hope you have a lovely day. You could always head over to chuck e cheese for one of their famous birthers.

    1. And look at you with your Daily Post Feature of Chipmunkidness. I am so very excited for you and eager to read it once I stop responding to comments using the words gonorrhea tonsils.

  2. Happy Birthday! I remember that gonorrhea tonsil post. I almost peed in my pants looking at it — the images were funny as hell! Enjoy your day…

  3. Happy Birthday Speaker7 — and congrats on being Freshly Pressed. I think perhaps the judges have gone hog wild over there — they used to only FP stuff about Mom, Apple Pie and travel. Well done, Word Press, joining the 21st Century. (That is the one we’re in, isn’t it? I get so confused)

  4. Happy Birthday! I always feel like a fine-blog coneseour (who can’t spell and hopes you know what I mean) when some of my favorite blogs get Freshly Pressed after I read them 🙂

    1. I can’t spell either and I’m upset that the autocorrect thingy seems to have gone away. By the way coneseour is spelled conniessssuuerr for future reference.

      1. wow, that’s a lot of S’s. THanks for the correction. Auto-correct wasn’t gone per-se, but it couldn’t figure out that I was trying to use a non-English word.

    1. Last year I celebrated by getting a haircut. Today? Well the world is my oyster or I’m going to watch TV, try not to eat an entire hunk of cheese and go to bed.

  5. Happy Birthday and Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!! Your parents must be so proud. Just as Mr. and Mrs. Einstein had no idea that baby Albert would grow up to be one of history’s greatest minds, Mr. and Mrs. Speaker7 could not possibly have predicted the phenomenal genius of their spawn. Even with the STDs.

  6. Happy Birthday! I have often wondered what the doctor thought when he first saw me. Probably, “At least with a kid this homely, she won’t be obsessed with her looks.” Ha ha on him.

  7. Happy Birthday and congrats on being FP’d. And yes, I know this comment probably sounds like all the others so no worries about responding. Just wanted to say the FP is well-deserved!

  8. Your gonorrhea tonsils post was yet another inspired slice of speaker 7 lunacy, and I’m thrilled that WP would FP a post with edgy wit. It’s great when writing that’s not generic and bland gets such a well deserved shout out — and it’s even great-er that it happened the week you hit four-oh. I hope it’s the start of more recognition of your wonderful way with words and an indication that your forties are going to be more fab than flab. Happy b-day buddy!

  9. Happy Birthday! The fact that you were FP’ed for gonorrhea tonsils on you 40th has given me a new life goal. I hope this is an auspicious start to the next decade; STD’s aside.

      1. I’ll leave it open for the universe to interpret. I think flexibility is key in reaching your goals. But I have to ask, speaker, where does one go from here?

  10. OK, I figure at this rate, considering how many of my WP buddies are getting Pressed, I should get one somewhere in 2018…provided there are no cobwebs in any of my 27 vaginas. Congrats on the FP. (Clearly, I have a lot of catch-up reading to do….)

    1. It will come, I guarantee it. And there will be no cobwebs in the vaginas. WordPress seems to gravitate toward interesting titles and you are welcome to use that cobweb line.

    1. Thanks Wendy,
      I might have trouble catching up because my knees hurt when I run and actually, I don’t run so my knees hurt when I try to propel myself off the couch.

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