Who better to raise awareness about prostate cancer and mental health issues than Hugo, the man of 1,000 faces?
True, he does not have a prostate. He does not have any lower body at all as a matter of fact. Or organs. Okay, so he’s a half-man puppet, but that half puppet can wear a mustache like nobody’s business.
November is the month for Movember, a campaign to raise money and awareness around men’s health issues. One way of doing this is to grow and/or spraypaint mustaches on one’s face. Another way is to join Bloggers for Movember, an online campaign created by Le Clown, the only man I have ever seen best Hugo in a hot dog eating contest.
Hugo is showing his support by modeling the eight types of mustaches available to the human and/or puppet race.
1. Sensitive Artist/Poet ‘Stache
2. Gigolo ‘Stache
This takes the whole baring-oneself up a notch to full-on belly revealing. This mustache shrieks complete confidence in a man’s ability to love the ladies all night long. What’s you sign? Cuz my sign is Go.
3. Fireman ‘Stache
4. Douche ‘Stache
This ‘stache has the scent of success…no wait, that is the scent of Axe Body Wash. The wearer has no trouble telling you how much his peen can bench press or how many lady crotch shots he’s taken surreptitiously from the floor of the women’s bathroom.
5. Stunted Adult ‘Stache
This ‘stache screams “I have the top score in whatever videogame is the popular videogame.” It says to the world: “World, I refuse to grow up. Do you see I’m wearing a toddler hat with cat ears?” Respeck.
6. Hacky-Sack ‘Stache
I don’t know, do people even play hacky sack anymore? Or is it something you do on the Wii? I’m old. If I had a fedora this would have been the hipster ‘stache, but I don’t think they have fedoras for toddlers. Maybe in hipster toddler stores?
8. Grandpa/Ernest Hemingway/Old Yosemite Sam ‘Stache
Dearest Reader: Speaker7 is attempting to write a post every day in November so she doesn’t have to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). This is the fifth post. She would have included a picture of her own prominent mustache, but seeks to remain anonymous.