Where My Ladies At?

Hi Women!

Whas up, yo?

Sorry I began so awkwardly. It’s because I feel nervous.

I feel nervous because some of you are Republicans or people who think voting for Mitt Romney is a good idea. I fear you will drop me like Michael Jackson almost dropped Blanket from that hotel balcony or post something in the comments that will make me feel squicky.

I get it. I do, I honestly do. You like something that he stands for. I can’t imagine what that is, but I’m sure it’s something with economics or smaller government.

But here’s the rub: the way Republicans have been talking about women and acting about women is just fucking wrong. There’s no getting past it.

You may be thinking, but Mitt loves his wife, how can Speaker7 say Mitt is anti-women? And I would say if you are Ann Romney, by all means vote for Mitt because he seriously digs you. But if you’re somebody who relies on Planned Parenthood for your health care, believes you should be able to procure birth control easily and affordably, and be treated fairly in the workplace, then the Republican train ain’t the one to be on.

Here’s just a few examples of Republican exceptionalism:

  • advocacy of a no-exceptions abortion ban, according to the GOP platform
  • opposition to the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009
  • mandated transvaginal ultrasounds
  • promotion of the Blunt Amendment that would have allowed any employer to deny covering birth control on moral grounds
  • discussion of rape distinctions–I’ll handle that later; it needs its own paragraph

I’m voting for Obama. There are things Obama stands for that I don’t like. I don’t like the Race for the Top education policy that basically continues the shittiness of No Child Left Behind. I don’t like the administration’s support of hydrofracking. But I overlook these things because otherwise I would never be able to vote for anyone ever.

But if I felt for a second that Obama thought women were less than, I would be out the door. Like if he continued to support a candidate who had the gall to say something like rape was a gift from God? I’d be thanks, but no thanks, fella.

I know women are not a uniform, monolithic voting bloc. I know we aren’t all on our periods at the same time and eagerly awaiting the latest sale of chocolate-dipped shoes. We have our own issues, concerns, and life experiences that shape the decisions we make at the ballot box. But cheezits cripes, we should band together when it comes to a political party advocating for policies that state our lives are worth less.

I get the distinct impression that Republicans–at least the ones in power and talking–don’t really like us all that much. I mean, they like us if we’re getting coffee or giving blow jobs, but otherwise? Not so much.

I mean how else can you explain those comments about rape? I can’t for the life of me understand why this is an issue that merits any discussion beyond “rape is a crime.” Now it’s been turned into something that can be categorized like forcible or legitimate or something that is so easy to do to some women. And it’s Republicans who are saying these things.

So I think it’s time we said “enough.” I think it’s time we put a stop to the nonsense and demand to be treated like thinking human beings because we are. And we’re the majority.

If you can’t vote for Obama, that’s okay. Write in something like “Vagina Queen” or “Speaker7.” I frankly think it’s time we started our own party and gave men a taste of the shit they’ve been shoveling in our direction since the beginning of time.

Here is the Speaker7 Party slogan: “Ball-Scratchers Beware.”

But enough with electing these shitballs to positions of power. Sure maybe they talk a good game about creating jobs and reducing the deficit, but they really seem to be about creating crazy legislation and reducing our opportunities and access to health care.

Dearest Reader: Speaker7 is attempting to write a post every day in November so she doesn’t have to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). This is the second post. She loves you very much. Even if you’re seething right now because you don’t like her positions, it doesn’t change the fact that she thinks you are wonderful.  She is looking for things to write about in the longest November since November existed. Please leave suggestions in the comments. The non-squicky type, please. 


  1. It’s pretty scary. Scary that people would say things like that, and even scarrier that we seem to be willing to accept it. I am seriously worried about our rights. It seems like the republican party would be happy with a US much like Saudi Arabia, where we aren’t even allowed to drive. I still feel guilty for not voting for Hillary Clinton in the primary four years ago. I wonder how different things might be had she been elected. It is definitely time for a female president!

  2. “we should ban together” … Very clever. I know you don’t commit typos, so I will accept that as sheer brilliance! And why not? Everything you write is brilliant.

  3. Speaker7,
    You’re my best friend in the world. Even in jest your message is loud and clear.
    Le Serious Clown

  4. YES! I don’t get it. I don’t get men that think so little of women (or healthcare, or the economy, or hundreds of other issues) that they vote for him. But I especially don’t understand women that do it. Maybe they have an Ana Steele complex? I did early voting, and I voted for Obama, and I don’t care who knows it cause I’m hiding under a pseudonym. And I say this because I live in the Bible Belt of Texas, where this is a crime punishable by being shot at from someone’s pickup truck. Thank you. And yes, PEOPLE, I beg of you – if you can’t vote Obama, vote Speaker 7. At least she’ll keep us entertained!

    Your lady be here!

  5. Reblogged this on Meizac and commented:
    Regarding the upcoming election in the U.S., Speaker7 says it better than I ever could. Plus, her post falls in line with what I’ve been writing/posting in the last several days.
    Now, go read it.

    1. This is a great topic to write about too… but maybe it’s squicky… I mean, I don’t know what that is yet… but I have a hunch. Still, if you are looking for topics to write about…

  6. I don’t believe I have ever held you in higher esteem.
    It is an awkward thing, I have been trying to avoid commenting on this election and these candidates because I am not American and therefore can’t vote so who gives a doododoodo what I think about it. As a woman, I have to believe that Speaker7 made things pretty clear and you know what you have to do. Vote … not for Mitt.

  7. If I were American – and if I weren’t already voting for Obama – you would’ve convinced me. Granted, no political party leader will offer everything a person likes, but some are just craaaazy, and scarily so. We’ve had that here in Canada too.

  8. I love you, and your honesty, and the guts it must’ve taken to publish this considering people are practically ordering hits on their own grandma for posting a controversial political comment on Facebook like, “I wonder if Obama likes mashed potatoes.” Also, I agree with you 100%.

  9. I agree with you. Although I have friends in the Blogosphere and one very dear to me in real life that I expect will vote Romney, it pains me, too, that there are decent, kind and caring women okay with seeing the fragile balance on the Supreme Court likely take a hard right that we’ll be stuck living with for decades if he wins the election. I’m an out lesbian and if he moves into the oval office, it will be at least four years hurtling back in time for my type, too. I strongly think that the GOP hates me even more than you. As far as the economy goes, I do think that Obama is on the right path, but he inherited such a monumental shit storm orchestrated by his predecessor who so mishandled 9/11 with two money-pit wars, it will likely take another four years to get back on track. I don’t think Obama’s perfect by a long shot, but I’m willing to give him those four years.

    1. Yes, I would say unequivocally that the GOP hates lesbians more than non-lesbians. I think Mitt Romney is on record saying gays and lesbians should not be parents…so…yup, fucking awful turdbuckets. The whole fracking party.

  10. Good job. The other day I did one of those “who should I vote for” internet things, for fun, and it brought up Jill Stein. I live in a state where anyone not of the two major parties has to be written in. Now all I have to do is decide…..Speaker7 or Jill Stein?

  11. I have a confession to make: I love you Speaker7! (okay not in the intimate way) You took the words right out of my mouth! I wrote a similar post on my blog today too. I truly hope we don’t take a step backwards as a nation on the 6th.

    Thank you for being brave (and possibly losing readers)!

  12. Speaker7 for president!

    Could not agree more. I’m usually pretty open-minded about politics and always willing to listen and debate, but in this instance, I honestly cannot understand how women can support Mitt Romney. It’s ludicrous.

  13. RIGHT ON, Speaker7…. legitimate rape, god sanctioned rape induced pregnancy…what a load of ass crap. I cannot tell you how angry it makes me to hear people defending that kind of 11th century thinking. I don’t know how anyone can support him if they know/love/respect even ONE woman.

  14. It boggles my mind that these gender issues are still being raised, and that such misinformation about rape and pregnancy exists. And the scary part? Akin sits on the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology. If that doesn’t make one shudder, I don’t know what does.

    1. Okay. Um. what? No that’s okay. Sure he should sit on that committee and….I’m just going to pretend I didn’t read that? So I can continue to live? Okay.

      1. Then you’ll be equally glad to know that Congressman Broun of Georgia, who believes the earth is 9,000 years old and that evolution’s a hoax, also serves on the House Science Committee. He has been quoted as saying evolution and the big bang theory are “”all lies straight from the pit of hell.” Everyone’s entitled to their beliefs, I guess, but should folks like this be on the science committee? Me thinks not. Here’s a link to an article on the subject: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/07/bill-nye-paul-broun-science-space-technology_n_1947125.html Fun stuff…

  15. Well I may not be a lady, but I was raised to know how to treat a lady – as an equal. I’m a guy who genuinely likes women as individual people, and I enjoy the companionship of women. I have a mother who raised me, I have a wife who loves me, and I have a daughter that I adore. I also have a 12 gauge shot gun and I load it with buck shot shells… and I have a feeling here is where this comment better stop, without completing the thought churning in my mind right now, except to say that the Republican party of 2012 is a national disgrace, and in all my years of watching politics, I’ve never seen the GOP as bad as they are right now, at an all time reprehensible low.

    Yes I am most definitely VOTING FOR OBAMA!!! Thanks for putting this out here and taking a stand, Speaker7.

  16. Because I love you too, I won’t complain that this was again a post about politics. Some suggestions for future posts: Pet Peeves….about driving (a really good one), shopping, commercials, television, fast food, etc…. I love to rant. 🙂

  17. I live in an area where Todd Akin commercials run constantly – I cannot fathom how far off base these guys are – Legitimate Rape? Unbelievable! Great post – keep ’em coming!

  18. I am voting for Obama, but you knew that. We are one massive vagina-united. Well, not in a lezzy way, but in a “CHEEZITS CRIPES,” god help us sort of way. and i can’t believe you came up with the term, ‘cheezits cripes,’ i can’t. so that means i’m voting for you AND obama. in fact, i’d like to replace biden with you. i think you make less “giraffes.” sigh. we will win. or so says that adorable ny times pollster with the $1,000 wager on it. xoxo

  19. I’ve attempted to compose a comment four or five times now, but cannot find the words to express my current level of contempt for the Republican party. The majority of people in my workplace and in my community are Romney-loving Mormons who rampantly disparage President Obama and claim that recent Republicans’ comments were taken out of context. It’s unbelievable.

  20. I’m going to start calling you S007.

    Geat post. You know I agree with you — I just wish I could somehow get American citizenship in time to vote. Or that we could somehow have the rest of the freaking world vote. But instead, I will simply have to trust that the women of America ban together and vote for Obama on the 6th. (Even if some of them have to ask to be let out of the kitchen to do it.)

  21. You nailed it. Why is it all the most disgusting men are such experts on women’s and gay issues? Personally I think Twit Money is totally a-sexual. I remain convinced that Ann conceived their children with one hand on a turkey baster and the other on The Book of Mormon. I just can’t picture Mittens bumping uglies with anyone, yet I can picture him wanking in a pile of $100 bills

    1. This brings up a great point Facetious (< one of my fave words btw) Our elections have boiled down to 8-12 battleground states. I feel bad for the people of these states who get pandered to every four years by politicians who wont show their face again in their state until the next election.
      Since President Obama is going to run away with New York State, I will most likely be voting Green.

  22. Fantastic. Keep writing about whatever you want. You are rocking it. Totally fun read. I like the politics stuff too and I usually don’t. But then again, it has never been the perfect balance of passion and hysterical either, until now.

  23. Yes I can! Of course you’re speaking to one of the hardcore (delusional?) Obama supporters who hasn’t lost even a shred of love for the guy since 2008. There are a few of us out there, not many, but some. The GOP could’ve pulled Abe Lincoln out of a deep freeze and ran him for President and only then would I pause for a moment in the voting booth. But, that being said, I am so with you on everything here. Sick, sick, sickened by the anti-woman gunk going on. You are so brave for putting it all out there! Whereas I throw up a Meatballs video and tell everyone it just doesn’t matter who wins, so I guess I’m really brave too.

    1. I’m with you on the whole apart from an unfrozen Abe Lincoln, it would be difficult to cast a vote for their lot of candidates. I feel it’s on par with voting for Voldemort against Harry in a Hogwart’s Class President campaign.

  24. This post was a breath of fresh air! Thank you!! Obviously, I will be voting for Obama because a.) I am a female, b.) I am a teacher and c.) I want my own children and my students to have access to fairness in their futures.

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