Chris B. is feeling down, you guys.
His Bachelor Pad besties have betrayed him. The woman he would alternately make out with or ignore has been voted off. His ex-partner Blakely has been saved and Chris hates her stupid face. He does the only thing he can think of as a “grown ass man.”
He gets into his little bunk bed and pulls the covers over his giant head.
His partner Sarah comes over and tries to coax Chris out with a graham cracker, but he’s, like, so grown-ass-man upset, yo! Then his ex-bestie Kalon comes in and Chris B. says “You’re a lying jerky poop head.”
Chris finally pulls himself out of bed to solely go yell at Ed, his other ex-bestie. He shouts at Ed to not shout at him. And keeps repeating the phrase “grown-ass man” in a manner that speaks to the opposite.
The challenge is The Great Fall of China, which involves the contestants carry stacks of teacups without dropping them. Blakely’s excited because she has worked at Hooters for 13 years.
Blakely and Tony win. They decide to go on the date together so they give their immunity rose to Kalon. Kalon goes on a bridge date with Lindzi and kind of non professes his non love.
Host Chris Harrison shows up to stoke the flames of drama. He asks all the couples about their coupledom, and Ed actually answers truthfully that he’s not interested in anyone in the house while his partner Jaclyn looks like she’s been punched in the stomach.
Chris Harrison tells the contestants that in this elimination round all the contestants will vote for one woman and that woman will choose the man she will take with her.
Chris B. knows he’s not long for the Bachelor Pad Gonorrhea Emporium. He attempts to come up with a strategy.
He tries to patch things up with Ed, and get Ed on board with voting off Lindzi. Ed says he can’t believe they were acting like stupid 15-year-old boys while being dressed exactly like 15-year-old boys.
Michael, the don of Bachelor Pad, tries to convince Erica that Chris B. is leading the brigade to get her voted off. Michael knows that he is vulnerable being the top Bachelor Pad dawg (what a distinction!), and wants Erica to take Chris with her. But his plan backfires when Chris brings Erica into the voting booth with him and shows his vote for Lindzi. A-doy.
Erica is voted off and takes Michael with her. In her valley-girl drone, she lists all the ways Michael sucks.
Michael’s partner Rachel is devastated and wants to leave with him, but he tells her to stay and “enjoy the experience.”