I am not one to toot my own horn. In fact I could barely toot that trumpet I played in the school band with those lovely braces on my teeth and my uncontrollable giggling at the word diaphragm. But I would like to direct my readers to one of the greatest blogs on Earth, Saturn and the Planet Formerly Known as Pluto: Sweet Mother
For the last couple of weeks, Sweet Mother has chosen one of her regular readers–Reggies–to profile and bestow love and praise because she is her name. And today, she chose me: Reggie Profile #4
She did this because I sent her a doctored photo of Samantha Brick, the woman who is trying to get a book deal struggles with over beauty and said it was me:
Yes that is a bag of Corprohagia treats on her knee.
Since she did such a nice thing for me, I’d like to return the favor by encouraging my legion of fans (the word legion now means between 10 and 20, you don’t need to look it up. Trust me, that’s what it means. Why are you going to an online dictionary?) to read her.
You may be familiar with her. She was recently Freshly Pressed with the terrific post Did My Post Suck Today? The answer is no.
She writes every day. And every day I look forward to seeing her name in my email because I know I’m in for something that is 5,000 times better than Corprohagia dog treats (and those things are good, they taste like dark Milky Ways).
You want to know how eagle feckin’ and customer service is related? Read this.
You want to learn the new name for the One Million Moms group? Read this.
You want to know what ITGMFLAA stands for? Read this.
That is all. I will put my trumpet away.
Speaker7 
Sweet Mother is the bomb. No joke.
She is like the blogger same-aged mother I’ve never had because my mom doesn’t blog and is way older than me.
That’s great!!!
She is really a sweet Sweet Mother.
I loved the post and loved her blog! (Subscribe, check.) Such a spot-on assessment of your writing. You really need to toot your own trumpet more. (Or perhaps switch from the trumpet to the french horn like I did — because it looked much less loserish to be last chair among two than twenty.)
French Horn? I still have nightmares. My sister is a very good musician, so the Music Teacher at the high school gave me a french horn to practice on the summer BEFORE high school – so that I’d be good when I started school. I gave it back in September when I still couldn’t make a sound come out of the damn thing.
I need to get me a time machine so I can redo the whole suck-at-trumpet thing to suck-at-french-horn-but-no-one-really-notices-because-the-20-trumpeters-drown-me-and-the-other-french-hornist-out thing.
So I read her blog, subscribed, made her my Blogger of the Week, and bought a tee shirt. Damn you 7, for enticing me. I swore I wasn’t going to follow one more blogger.
She’s well worth it. I need to make my own T-shirts and then guilt you into buying one.
I seriously would.
I think the problem here is the horn. You probably didn’t know this so I’m telling you: you need a didgeridoo! Newly dung up archeological evidence show that the ancient Egyptians (well known for tooting their own horns) actually used a didgeridoo. You can actually see that evidence proof thing on the Official Didgeridoo Tooting Scientist Association of This Place (ODTSAT) website. Once you adopt to the right tooting instrument your life will get better.
(btw Sweet Mother is SWEEET)
Sweet Mother’s review was dead on. You are an undiscovered secret. This is how we like to keep it. Don’t get too popular or I’ll drop you like I did Death Cab.
Thanks for the tip on Sweet Mother, but thanks also for sharing your “enhanced” photo of Samantha Brick! 🙂 And for just this once, I’m going to be a gentleman, and refrain from commenting on all this talk of women sucking while blowing on things.