“My (Turds) Were Emotional, Reactionary, and Inflammatory”

Bob Morris is sorry, you guys.

He is deeply sorry. He is so so sorry that his letter calling the Girl Scouts of America a lair of anal-lovin’, communist-sympathizen’, abortion-havin’ Planned Parenthood lovers made it out of his protective lair of non anal-lovin’, non communist-sympathizen’, non abortion-havin’ Planned Parenthood haters, otherwise known as Republicans.

He is not sorry, however, about what he said. The Girl Scouts are in cahoots with a group that represents the “biggest evil of our time.”

Had Bob known his letter would reach a wider audience, he would have included proof, you guys (Here is the post on his original letter). Instead of just writing, Girl Scouts teach your daughter to perform an abortion on her Barbie, he would have written: “According to sources, Girl Scouts teach your daughter to perform an abortion on her Barbie.” Now was this sentence actually included in Bob’s letter? I provided you with a link, and you may have actually read the letter, and you may now be thinking No, that sentence isn’t there. And I would have to disagree because my sources say yes.

My sources say this sentence was also included in Bob’s non-apology apology letter: “Now when I made love to that sheep, I did what was right, I did not use protection.”

It’s there. I don’t care if you cannot actually see it.

It’s the same way Bob doesn’t care that both Girl Scouts and Planned Parenthood have said “We don’t know what the f— Bob Morris is talking about in his letter, but it in no way reflects reality.” Bob is still like “La la la!! I can’t hear you! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!  Look at this picture of me.”

"Don't I look like someone who has a clear grasp on reality?"

Bob includes a link to the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts. It shows a picture of 14 girls under the heading “Young People Advocating for Sexual and Reproductive Rights.”  This was taken at some UN Conference on the status of women in the world. This is the smoking gun. But it’s not as good as this picture:

"I'm a 100 percent positive that Dolly is not a Communist."

This picture was taken at an awards ceremony where Bob received the most coveted award one can receive, Turd of the Week™.

This turd was shat from the bottom of an opponent of Planned Parenthood


  1. No, no – you have to unelect him and then give him a blog. He writes non-stop gold. Honestly, from the safe distance of the other side of the planet, he is a comic genius.

    1. I have to second what JP says, Bob Morris is a comedic genius not unlike yourself. I failed to read Bob’s letter when you posted it earlier this week (shame on me). I just now read it and I seriously thought for a moment (truly) that it was a fake website that you masterfully created, along with the letter. It was practically straight out of the mouths of babes who write for The Onion when they’re not crapping their pants. Bob, will you marry me? You are the funniest guy I’ve ever met.

  2. There seems to be a problem “loading” (pun intended) Bob’s letter (yesterday too).

    Where are these lunatics coming from? Has there been an alien invasion of folks who are bat-shit crazy? They are everywhere and they are HOLDING ELECTIVE OFFICE. Lord help us.

    1. The bat-shit crazy have always been amongst us, but now because of the “success” of The Tea Party, and groups with a similar agenda, they have been emboldened to come out of the darkness of their bat-shit crazy belfries, and out into the light where we all can see them. This is not such a bad thing. Because I think that a majority of the country is recoiling in disgust at what is being revealed, and running in the opposite direction. And hopefully, a majority of the country will run to the polls and vote these bat-shit crazies out of public office!

      BTW, I can’t get the Journal Gazette links to work either – not on this post, or anywhere else on the web – I think the site is down. Probably from so many people wanting to read for themselves just how bat-shit crazy this turd really is!
      Great choice and great post! Please keep up the good work.

  3. This is the type of guy you always find out later has been masturbating to the pictures on the Girl Scout cookies box with Samoas actually placed on his penis. The two alarming aspects of this are:
    1) He is mostly likely a pedophile and is fighting his urges by legislating
    2) His penis actually fits into the hole of the Samoas.

  4. Next election period this guy is going to be running on behalf of the Tea Party, guaranteed.

    I HATE when people try to backpedal on what they’ve said or done. I don’t care if you’re the world’s biggest assclown…just own up to your assclownishness. This guy needs to have lunch with Nancy Brinker from Susan G. Komen.

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