Keep the Strange

Holy turdballs!

There are times when one is faced with adversity, and one has to summon the strength to overcome it and be the better for it.

This is not one of those times.

Countrysinger Hank Williams Jr. is mad at ESPN and Fox & Friends because they’re turded all over his freedoms such as his freedom to be paid millions in licensing fees for screaming “Are you ready for some football!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” before the weekly Monday Night football snoozefest. His voice’s ouster resulted from his saying on Fox & Assorted Imbeciles that Obama’s golf outing with the orange-hued John Boehner is like Hitler playing golf with an oompa loompa from the 1971 classic film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:

What’s a millionaire to do except write the worst song in the history of civilization?

I downloaded this song.

My life will never the be the same.

I repeatedly listened to Keep the Change in order to write this blog post. My ears feel violated as if Hitler used them as his golf tees in his friendly game with Netanyahu.

In the first and second verses, Bocefus lists all of the freedoms he will keep such as:

1. his freedom

2. his guns

3. his money

4. his religion

5. his job

6. his smile

7. his Christian name

8. his heroes’ pictures on the wall

9. his family’s safety

10. his freedom to call your bluff

11. his big V8(??)

12. his friends

13. his right to keep the government out of his business

14. his turdishly awful songwriting “ability”

But you know what the rest of y’all can do? Y’all can keep the change.

Oh dear mother of horrible songwriting. It’s just, it’s just soooooo not good. It makes Rebecca Black’s Friday sound like Un bel di from Madame Butterfly.

Now I saw a video on Youtube of Hank singing these same exact words from a venue in 2009 so this feels a bit Candle-in-the-Windesque. But there is a new third verse, which is just killer:

“So ‘Fox and Friends’ / Wanna put me down / Ask for my opinion / Then twist it all around / Supposed to be talking about my father’s new CD / Well two can play that gotcha game, just wait and see / Don’t tread on me”

The chorus is just how the country is now socialist and going down the drain.

You can download the song for free on Hank’s website, which seems a bit socialist if you ask me. It’s like Karl Marx writing a song with Hitler to sing on Socialist American Idol (premiering Jan. 3 on Fox).

Because his freedoms are being stymied, Hank appeared to give his point of view on The Irrelevant Yapping Show. You may also know this as The View.

Hank has one of the flapping heads read from a dictionary. He says the golf game was a bunch of politicians “juking.” He says “Mickey’s a mean mouse” (Disney owns ESPN and The View because corporate control of all media is so freedomy). He likes this Mickey and points to the name Mantle on the back of his Yankees shirt. All the while the flapping heads talk over him. This appearance was very, very strange.

And you know what y’all can do?

Y’all can keep the strange.

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13 comments

  1. The use of the name “Hitler” to describe anything or anyone someone doesn’t like offends me to my core. And it is being done more and more. Comparing any person/event/opinion to the absolute extreme that exists completely takes away from its signifigance. We might as well walk around saying “Wow, Shirley, that new haircut makes you look like you have Stage 4 cancer!” or “That cop was so mean to me when he gave me the ticket, he was acting like a child molester!”

  2. Hard to believe that Country music with its far right (i.e. bat-shit-crazy) tendencies has its roots in the folk music of the 60s, isn’t it. They’ve certainly dumbed down sing-along-music.

    1. I don’t know…these lyrics from Toby Keith seem so profound to me:
      “Now this nation that I love
      Has fallen under attack
      A mighty sucker punch came flyin’ in
      From somewhere in the back
      Soon as we could see clearly
      Through our big black eye
      Man, we lit up your world
      Like the 4th of July”

      No, not dumb at all

      1. I was living in Europe during 9-11 and, well, I heard that song shortly after my return. That song was particularly painful.

        After 9-11, I had marched in a “silent walk” in Geneva, Switzerland, once home to the League of Nations, and now home to a host of other international trying to preserve (?) peace and save the world.

        There was a “silent vigil” that was noisy with the hundreds of different languages across the globe, all pulling for America.

        Shame George Dubya sent everyone shopping.

  3. Poor Republicans. I don’t identify with them yet I do feel sorry for them. This is why they’ll never, ever be the cool kids at the party. They have delusional, living-in-a-van-down-by-the-river type of crazy, self-appointed spokespeople like Hank Williams, Jr. and Ted Nugent. Meanwhile Democrats are partying it up with Bruce Springsteen and the Dixie Chicks.

  4. Great blog. Why are these people so paranoid? Maybe if I ate too much of my son-in-law’s medical brownie I’d feel the same way, but I just don’t. I’m still waiting to see Sean Hannity’s head explode on air because “our nation is going in the wrong direction”. Anybody good with video? That’s one I’d like to see.
    Les

  5. I feel as though I am out of the pop culture loop. Who is this person, and why do I feel as though I have been living under a rock?

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