Faceblecchh

Change is hard.

I remember when my parents were about to drop me off at college, I made the announcement “Thanks for the lift, but I believe I will be going home with you.” I felt I had given it the ole college try although I hadn’t actually set foot on campus, but I wanted my life to remain unchanged.

So I get it. I understand. Facebook has changed its newsfeed and your life is in a #$!!@%$ tailspin. At least it seems that way from the amount of times you keep posting it as your status update, which I’m reading using the new newsfeed. Look, I drew you this picture:

Aw snap.

There seems to be two camps: those whose lives are in $#(@*! tailspin and those who post things like “An innocent man was executed today and everyone is upset about Facebook changing.” The former should probably get a bit of perspective and the latter should realize posting that kind of status update on Facebook makes you look a bit like a self-righteous prick, especially since you posted that right after posting a skateboarding video.  By the way, a dog was shot during the time it took you to upload that video so I hope you’re happy.

I am in neither camp. I don’t participate in Facebook enough. I use it to keep track of “friends” birthdays so this way I can post a generically short “Happy Birthday!” and never have to use the phone again.

I have noticed that I seem to see more of people’s daily astrological missives before I get to the status updates challenging me to copy something to my status update thereby curing world hunger. I have yet to do it because I’m all about the status quo.

While the times they are a-changing, I will leave you with this: While you were reading this blog, an innocent man was changing his status update.

Chew on that.

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13 comments

  1. I’m just hanging out at google + now. It’s much quieter there. I compare Facebook to shopping at Walmart at Christmas. Google + is more like going into the used bookstore on the corner.

  2. I agree totally- although my life has been changed irrevocably by the ‘blue corner’. Its like Facebook is reading my mind. Of course I think that a distant relatives status update of nighty nite IS a top story that I am liable to find most interesting. I am so glad I saw that update first. I dont know how I would have been able to sleep otherwise.

    1. It’s true. It has been extremely helpful. I wouldn’t have known that someone needed help unlocking a Palawan Peacock on his virtual island without Facebook placing it as my top story of the day.

  3. My letter to Facebook:

    Dear Facebook,
    You are not a newspaper. Stop giving me the “top story” of the day. My cousin’s discussion of her baby’s elbow dimple is not breaking news.
    You suck…almost as much as Dr. Phil, but not quite.
    PCC

  4. I wrote the Erotipod blog (my most famous 1st blog for being intentionally “not funny”) about how facebook will eventually kill us. We’ll be too busy making out with our machines to notice the executions. Your blog is way funnier, and no doubt more to the point!
    Les

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