Hollywood Walk of Shame

Here it is Labor Day, and I’m trying to be all relaxed, and then I read this:

Kim Kardashian Won’t Get a Hollywood Star

And I’m enraged by the injustice of it all. Apparently the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce was asked if it would consider “reality” “stars” for the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It responded “Hell to the no” on its Facebook page thereby coining one of the most interesting turns of phrase in our lifetime. You go, girl! Hey, that one’s pretty good too. Make sure to credit me if you use it.

I have never seen Keeping Kup Kwith Kthe Kardashians, but I am aware of Kim’s oeuvre:

  • sex on film, but in a very classy non-porn way
  • big ass
  • wedding to a giant

How is Kim’s career any different than say Walk of Fame recipients’ Bob Barker (sex tape) or Big Bird (big ass)? I’ll answer that: it isn’t.

So where’s the love Hollywood Chamber of Commerce? Are you worried that if you bestow a kstar on Kim, you will open the floodgates to any carbon life form who willingly invites cameras into his/her bathrooms? You should be because that will likely happen. Do you think people will question your wisdom by honoring Kim before honoring many other much worthier stars?

Well I have made things easy for you. I have come up with a list of celebrities who will be required to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame before Kim Kardashian thereby making her inevitable induction easier to swallow.

Here is the list:

1.

The bag from the movie American Beauty

2.

The Chuck E. Cheese Animatronic Band

3.

Muno from Yo Gabba Gabba

4.

Bubonic-plague Wench #4 from The Renaissance Faire

5.

Comedienne Newt Gingrich

6.

The horse from Most Eligible: Dallas.

7.

Shake Weights™!!!!!!

8.

David Hasselhoff’s hamburger

9.

Khloe Kardashian

Hell to the yes, Hollywood Chamber of Commerce! Hell to the yes!

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9 comments

  1. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Seriously, that’s all I can say. Those freaking KKardashian Kgirls. They’re like Paris Hilton to me. WHAT MADE THEM FAMOUS? I don’t understand. And by the way, my parents were in a K-Y ad last month in People magazine, and THEY are receiving stars next Tuesday.

  2. My vote is for the Most Eligible: Dallas horse. Give him a star!!!

    I actually REALLY love, love, love that Kim is the most famous of all the Kardashians and she is the one with absolutely no personality. She seems sweet, albeit spoiled, but totally lacking in personality. It is kinda hilarious to be famous for your butt and that’s it. That’s a hell of a lot of star power in those jeans!

  3. Haha. This had me giggling like a crazy woman. Good thing I’m alone or people would think I’m crazy. I vote for the plastic bag as well! That thing has more talent than the Kardashians ever will. I’m tired of people being famous for being famous.

  4. Hell Yes! speaker7 YOU are on fire. Great entertaining blog. (Hey, you bloggers explaining the nuances of the coffee bean, I’m talking to you). I’m glad someone was laboring on Lablor Day (I hope you weren’t in actual labor). Love the Bubonic Plague Wench. I think I made out with her! Keep the ‘tude going.
    Les

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