So I was watching the Today show, and after I viewed the requisite segments on the white-women-missing-in-Aruba epidemic and the Jeff-Rossen-sliming-all-over-the-microphone-in-his-best-smarminess perversion, I saw a piece about this 4-year-old who is the world’s youngest preacher, according to They Say. This was so cute. The woman who looks like all the other women anchors on Today except for Ann Curry–I call her “Composite”–she introduced the segment as “this is so cute” so that’s how I knew how to react properly since my initial reaction was to recoil in horror.
They showed footage of the “pint-sized preacher” “preaching” at his “church” somewhere in the country where people speak with Southern accents. He wore a suit and growled about the one Lord and holy God–most of it was incomprehensible–and then he danced a little bit. And…it….was…..so……cute. . . like how it would be so cute to watch a 4-year-old preside over an infomercial on Ab Rockets or be the fifth housewife on the Real Housewives of the Pentecostal Church or be interviewed by Jeff Rossen about being the world’s youngest most off-putting minister.
Thankfully his parents say they’re not pushing the boy to be a preacher and they have no agenda. They said this on the number-one-rated national morning news show where they also promoted the National Geographic special that features their son after the boy gained national attention by his parents uploading his sermonizing on YouTube. That was maybe the cutest thing of all.