Tag Archives: reading

Fifty Shades of Bastardarized Boredom

Posted on February 9, 2013 by

My prayers have been answered. Remember when I finished Fifty Sharts of Grey Goop and I declared “Holy twat-twizzler! Will someone please–pretty please with a butt plug on top–write some more words about an abusive douche and an empty space who … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, Recraps | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 68 Comments

NaBloWriMo Coming to a Clo

Posted on November 27, 2012 by

Sweet Jesus on a Pringle! The end of November is near and soon endeth my indenture servitude to the 30-post-a-day blog challenge. Three posts remain. What will they be about? Seriously, I’m asking you, what will they be about? That’s … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 85 Comments

Let’s Finish this Twat so I can be Fifty Shades Freed (pgs. 501-548)

Posted on September 17, 2012 by

This is it, gentle reader. The end. It took some time getting to this point. My brain has shrunken to the size of a vaginal ball. I no longer recognize how sentences are properly constructed. And I’ve begun to call … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor, Recraps | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 79 Comments

Fifty Shades Neverending (Fifty Shades Freed: pgs. 451-500)

Posted on September 7, 2012 by

Once upon a time, there was a little Speaker7 who desperately wished she never heard of Fifty Shats of Grey. But heard she did, and now as she clings to her last functioning bit of brain and the anti-freeze digesting in … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor, Recraps | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 48 Comments

Curious George and the Monkey Anus Chocolate

Posted on September 5, 2012 by

Today I am hosting my first-ever guest post. I don’t know why I’ve never done this before because you do barely any work and reap all the glory. This is what it must feel like to be in top management. … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 120 Comments

Fifty Shades Buzzed (Fifty Shades Freed: pgs. 401-450)

Posted on September 1, 2012 by

Okay, gentle reader. I begin this recrap with a couple caveats. (For more recraps, click here) First, I don’t know what caveat means. Second, I’ve drunk two glasses of wine and am seriously considering a third because I am reading … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor, Recraps | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 49 Comments

Fifty New Plot Twists (Fifty Shades Freed: pgs. 351-400)

Posted on August 31, 2012 by

I have dreams, gentle reader. My dream was to finish the literary anal fissure that is Fifty Shades Freed before my return to work on Tuesday. But alas, this dream is dead as so many have gone before it. Why did … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor, Recraps | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 56 Comments

Fifty Shades Freed is Unreadable (pgs. 301-350)

Posted on August 27, 2012 by

For previous installments, click here.  Dear E.L. James: Ugh, this goddamned book. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to start with a vulgarity, but I just read the worst 50 pages of sentences  you clearly shite directly out of your bottom … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor, Recraps | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 83 Comments

Fifty Shades Procrastination (Fifty Shades Freed: pgs. 251-300)

Posted on August 25, 2012 by

Oh boy. So it’s been nearly two weeks since I’ve written a Fifty Shades Fuckadoodle recrap. Why is that? Oh right because this book is the literary equivalent of a raging hemorrhoid. And like a raging hemorrhoid, this book inflames … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor, Recraps | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 46 Comments

Read This and Then Go To Childhood Relived

Posted on August 15, 2012 by

Minimal flogging and butt pluggery in this book, but still a craptastic read. Check out my summary over at Childhood Relived.

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments