Tag Archives: love

Ready for Cancellation

Posted on April 28, 2013 by

It’s taken me awhile to put together a recrap of the third episode of the live-doll reality show Ready for Love.  Rumors swirled that the show had been cancelled, but then executive producer Eva Longoria took to Twitter, saying it … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Recraps, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Ready for Zzzzzzzzzzz

Posted on April 19, 2013 by

Nothing happened on the second episode of Ready for Love. I mean, I guess some things happened, but in the end it added up to a bunch of nothing. I was most intrigued by audience members holding up signs: If you … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Recraps, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Ready for Same-Old Same-Old

Posted on April 11, 2013 by

Ready for Love premiered Tuesday night. This show is unlike any other reality dating show you’ll ever see, lies executive producer Eva Longoria. Lots of dramatic music and lighting. Lots of quick cuts and editing that makes Cloverfield feel like … Continue reading →

Posted in media, humor, television, entertainment, Recraps | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 66 Comments

Well Fuck.

Posted on March 12, 2013 by

The Bachelor season finale is tonight, and it’s three motherfucking hours long. There is no possible way I will make it through. Let’s just assume Bland gave some dame a promise ring and will be unpromised-ringed in two months, and … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Recraps, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

The Boredom Continues: The Women Tell All

Posted on March 5, 2013 by

I missed the first 20 minutes. I was reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear to my son. It is infinitely more fascinating. Do you know that a red bird sees a fucking yellow duck!?! Okay so I’m assuming the rejected Bachelor … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Recraps, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Bland’s Sister Wives

Posted on February 26, 2013 by

Bland of  The Bachelor is having bland struggles. “I like these girls, but I live in a country that outlaws polygamy. I think I should take off my shirt.” Serious ponderous swimming. Bland is shirtless. He is transported to Thailand … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Recraps, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 50 Comments

This is, like, stupid almost

Posted on February 19, 2013 by

Truer words have never been spoken. Bland looks really red. He is getting ready or red-dy to meet his concubines’ families. Zing! I’m here all week. AshLee, of the interestingly capitalized name, has been living for this moment or some such … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, Hugo, television, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 48 Comments

More Filler from The Bachelor

Posted on February 12, 2013 by

I missed the first few minutes of The Bland-lor. Someone’s crying. Others are wearing bikinis. Bland is shirtless for the 456th time. This might be the entire recrap. It’s riveting, yes? They are on some island. I believe it’s Molokai, … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, Recraps, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

The Borelor

Posted on January 29, 2013 by

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Hmm? Oh, yes. I’m recrapping The Bachelor. It is two hours long!?! What the fuH. I’ve got this. I’ve totally got this. Um… So this guy? Yep, his name is Bland. He likes his harem o’ ladies. He’s getting … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, Recraps, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 54 Comments

Vocal Fry on Parade

Posted on January 15, 2013 by

Every woman speaks in vocal fry. Every woman trying to win Bland’s rose heart on The Bachelor. Every woman. “Errrr myyyyyy gawrrdddd. I lurvveeeeee Blandrowrlllllllll. He is errrrrrrrgrowllllllll” If you don’t know what vocal fry is, go listen to Kim Kardashian … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, Recraps, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 61 Comments