Tag Archives: life

Move-abilia

Posted on November 14, 2012 by

I am moving soon. Yesterday, I spent a good eight hours climbing up and down an attic ladder, hauling boxes delightfully decorated in mouse feces. It made me realize two things: 1) I should work out more. 2) I have … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 56 Comments

Why Isn’t Anyone Writing?

Posted on July 1, 2012 by

I wake up early every day. I play Blue’s Clues (today we learned Blue wanted to pretend a box was a roller coaster, and I wanted to pretend that the box was a case of Ambien) and go through the eternal … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 55 Comments

I’m Sexy and I Know It

Posted on June 11, 2012 by

So a weird thing happened to me today: I think I was hit on. I can’t say for sure because I haven’t been hit on in a really long time. I believe the last person who hit on me was my … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 30 Comments

Home is Where the Hugo Is

Posted on June 6, 2012 by

Someone’s trash is another person’s excuse to add to the giant hoarding heap. Lordy rat’s nest, do I have a load of crap in my house. When you are trying to sell your house, it is considered wise to unclutter … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , | 48 Comments

Gardening 101

Posted on June 2, 2012 by

We are in the process of putting our house on the market. It’s been awesome. Wait, is awesome the right word? No…I was thinking of something else, like arrggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!?! Yes that sums it up nicely. So apparently when you want … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Oh the Places You Won’t Go

Posted on May 19, 2012 by

May is the month of college commencements. In fact the local college’s commencement is tomorrow, and I have been trying like crazy to be tapped as this year’s keynote speaker. It makes sense since my name is Speaker7. The current … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, television | Tagged , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Dora the Annoyer

Posted on May 17, 2012 by

Six o’clock in the morning is really rough. It’s not the best feeling in the world to know every morning you will get up at 6 a.m. regardless of the time you fall asleep. This is the life of a … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , | 32 Comments

I Now Pronounce You. . . A Giant Turd

Posted on May 9, 2012 by

When I see gay couples, I can’t help but wonder: Why do you insist upon ruining my life by being in love? It’s really, really annoying. I want to be married so let me stay married. Don’t try to ruin it … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 34 Comments

The Brain is a Battlefield

Posted on April 30, 2012 by

You know how you’re belting the words to Pat Benatar’s Love is a Battlefield while on the toilet, and your husband asks you: “Hey, wasn’t that song in a movie?” And you reply: “Yes, yes it was. It was in the … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media | Tagged , , , , | 41 Comments

Here Comes the Skeleton

Posted on April 22, 2012 by

It seems some women are a little obsessed with their wedding days. Like this woman: She’s having a feeding tube inserted into her nose to maintain an 800-calorie-a-day diet. And she’s having a New York Times photographer take her picture … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments