Tag Archives: holidays

An Oldie But Goodie – Santa Claus is Kind of a Dick

Posted on November 28, 2012 by

Dearest Reader, What you are reading is a recycled post. I crafted this homage to Santa Claus’s dickery back before the iPhone 5 was invented, Beyonce still had a baby inside her uterus and Hugo was trapped in a box … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 55 Comments

Christmas Crap-a-looza

Posted on November 26, 2012 by

Another Black Friday has come and gone. Maybe you weren’t able to pummel someone in the face to get your hands on a $4.99 version of this: And for that I’m truly sorry. But there still are some great deals … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 97 Comments

Easter, Flag Day Sexier Than Thanksgiving

Posted on November 21, 2012 by

Well shit. Here I was. All excited for my four-day Thanksgiving holiday, and come to find out that Thanksgiving is NOT a sexy holiday. Horn of plenty? More like horn of wah-wah. It’s true. It’s true because I read it … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 45 Comments

Give Thanks…for Sauna Pants

Posted on November 19, 2012 by

Thanksgiving is that annoying little holiday that gets in the way of me pitching a tent outside Target in hopes of buying this: Yes, there are only four shopping days left until the consumer frenzy that is Black Friday. What … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 87 Comments

“It’s Been Fun”

Posted on May 25, 2012 by

This is a weekend for traveling. More than 5 billion Americans will jump into their cars and drive to some destination so they can watch a parade, wave a flag, buy an inflatable Angry Bird™ balloon manufactured in China, and … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Gift Ideas for Every Mom

Posted on April 28, 2012 by

It used to be so easy with Mother’s Day. You took a frozen orange juice container, glued a piece of shag carpet around it–and presto instant carpet-covered frozen orange juice container. But moms want us to “step up our game” … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

To Know the Actual Love For You

Posted on February 14, 2012 by

Wouldn’t that be something–especially today of all days, the 14th day in the month-long celebration of National Bird Feeding? To know the actual love the actual someone has for the actual person who is you? I wish there was a … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

I Resolve to Read this Post

Posted on December 31, 2011 by

A new year is soon approaching unless you live in another part of the world where it actually already is Jan 1. I may be American, but I realize people live elsewhere, and that is one of my resolutions–to repress … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

Miraculously Miraculous

Posted on December 24, 2011 by

Christmas is a time of miraculous miracles that miraculously mystify through their miraculousness. The Virgin Mary gave birth to Jesus who grew up and now lives forever at the North Pole under the moniker “Santa Claus.” A hefty bag gave … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

It’s A-Okay!

Posted on December 9, 2011 by

I learn so much as a human being who has eyes and ears and occasional numbness in my pinky toe. But I had no idea how much I repressed what I said until I saw this on Facebook: I wept … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments