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Tag Archives: despair
Ready for Cancellation
It’s taken me awhile to put together a recrap of the third episode of the live-doll reality show Ready for Love. Rumors swirled that the show had been cancelled, but then executive producer Eva Longoria took to Twitter, saying it … Continue reading
Posted in humor, media, Recraps, television
Tagged ben, dating, despair, ernesto, eva longoria, humor, love, media, ready for love, reailty television, recraps, television, tim
26 Comments
This is, like, stupid almost
Truer words have never been spoken. Bland looks really red. He is getting ready or red-dy to meet his concubines’ families. Zing! I’m here all week. AshLee, of the interestingly capitalized name, has been living for this moment or some such … Continue reading
Posted in entertainment, Hugo, television, Turd of the Week™
Tagged bored, boring TV, dating, despair, humor, insipid crap, love, media, reality television, recraps, relationships, sex, television, The Bachelor
48 Comments
Fifty Shades of Bastardarized Boredom
My prayers have been answered. Remember when I finished Fifty Sharts of Grey Goop and I declared “Holy twat-twizzler! Will someone please–pretty please with a butt plug on top–write some more words about an abusive douche and an empty space who … Continue reading
Posted in humor, Recraps
Tagged Beautiful Bastard, books, Christian Grey, crap books, despair, fanfic, fanfiction, Fifty Shades of Grey, gall bladder, humor, reading, recraps, the end of the world, twilight
68 Comments
NaBloWriMo Coming to a Clo
Sweet Jesus on a Pringle! The end of November is near and soon endeth my indenture servitude to the 30-post-a-day blog challenge. Three posts remain. What will they be about? Seriously, I’m asking you, what will they be about? That’s … Continue reading
Posted in Hugo, humor
Tagged blogging, despair, Hugo, humor, nablowrimo, pecan sandies, People Magazine, polls, readers, reading, spam, voting
85 Comments
Con-sul-ta-tion
con·sul·ta·tion/ˌkänsəlˈtāSHən/ noun: 1.) The action or process of formally consulting or discussing 2.) A meeting with an expert or professional, such as a medical doctor, in order to seek advice Did you know that a tonsillectomy entails removing one’s tonsils? … Continue reading
Posted in humor
Tagged anesthesia, consultation, despair, doctors, gremlins, health, humor, recovery, tonsillectomy, tonsils, writing
62 Comments
Casting Ana Steele
Who will play Ana Steele in the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey movie? This is a very powerful role. Ana is the most beguiling, charming, strong, intelligent, and ambitious woman on the planet. Wait…what the fuck did I just write? (Thanks Le Clown … Continue reading
Posted in humor, media, Recraps
Tagged 50 Shades of Grey, Ana Steele, casting, Christian Grey, despair, E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey, humor, Lassie, media, movies, Odie
54 Comments
A Pad of Sad
Holy chlamydia! Tomorrow we will discover which couple wins Bachelor Pad 3, but can one ever really be a winner on Bachelor Pad? (Answer: no) I’ve realized I’ve shirked my responsibility of offering up a timely recrap of the previous episode … Continue reading
Posted in humor, media, Recraps, television
Tagged bachelor, bachelor pad, Bachelor Pad 3, bachelorette, chris harrison, dating, despair, humor, Knight Ranger, media, reality television, recaps, recrap, sex, television
35 Comments
Fifty Shades Buzzed (Fifty Shades Freed: pgs. 401-450)
Okay, gentle reader. I begin this recrap with a couple caveats. (For more recraps, click here) First, I don’t know what caveat means. Second, I’ve drunk two glasses of wine and am seriously considering a third because I am reading … Continue reading
Posted in Hugo, humor, Recraps
Tagged 50 Shades of Grey, books, Christian Grey, crap, despair, E.L. James, fifty shades darker, Fifty Shades Freed, Fifty Shades of Grey, Hugo, humor, pregnancy, reading, recap, recaps, recrap, sex, terrible book, writing
49 Comments
Fifty New Plot Twists (Fifty Shades Freed: pgs. 351-400)
I have dreams, gentle reader. My dream was to finish the literary anal fissure that is Fifty Shades Freed before my return to work on Tuesday. But alas, this dream is dead as so many have gone before it. Why did … Continue reading
Posted in Hugo, humor, Recraps
Tagged 50 Shades of Grey, books, butt plug, Christian Grey, despair, E.L. James, fifty shades darker, Fifty Shades Freed, Fifty Shades of Grey, Hugo, humor, reading, recap, recaps, recrap, sex, terrible book, writing
56 Comments
Fifty Shades Freed is Unreadable (pgs. 301-350)
For previous installments, click here. Dear E.L. James: Ugh, this goddamned book. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to start with a vulgarity, but I just read the worst 50 pages of sentences you clearly shite directly out of your bottom … Continue reading
Posted in Hugo, humor, Recraps
Tagged 50 Shades of Grey, books, Christian Grey, despair, E.L. James, fifty shades darker, Fifty Shades Freed, Fifty Shades of Grey, humor, reading, recap, recaps, recrap, santorum, terrible book, twilight, writing
83 Comments
