Christian Mingle

Desperately Seeking Hugo

Hugo is lonely, guys.

He would never publicly admit this, but he has grown tired of making out with his reflection and longs for the touch of a real woman.

I know this because I found Hugo’s profile on Christian Mingle. He used my email address so now I’m receiving daily Bible verses for which I’m ever so grateful. Today’s: For I am the LORD, I change not (Hugo 3:6).

I am aware of some of my readers’ obsession with Hugo’s denim shirt and eyeybrowless face. Maybe you will be the one to mingle with his Christian dingle, if you get my drift.

Dearest Reader: Speaker7 is attempting to write a post every day in November so she doesn’t have to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). This was the second most popular choice in the what-the-eff-should-I-write-about-in-the-remaining-days poll. Tomorrow it ends. And to celebrate, Speaker7 will make out with Hugo and film it. . . only if she’s drunk enough. 

Nothing to See Here

Sometimes one just has to write even when one has nothing to write about and no inspiration.

This is what this is.

It has even affected my art.

Proof:

This post will have the feel of a random letter you read in the local newspaper where the writer has clearly lost his mind, but must commit his madness to paper if only to be able to continue on. Kind of like this:

So I thought I should do the same thing. Clear out the clutter and cobwebs, stop being like Gollum and thinking of my blog as precious, and just write a list of pure dreck and end it with an exclamation of well wishes.

So here goes a list of worthless gibberish for your non-reading non pleasure to unblock my writer’s block:

  • The Today show had its penultimate 60th anniversary celebration today, featuring the highlights of the last 60 years. It showed some old footage of a chimpanzee pushing an anchor desk. Former anchors told tales that mainly involved interview subjects using bathrooms. Ann Curry reminisced how she interviewed Vice-President Joe Biden and a dog howling “Wooovveee woooo” in a manner that sounds like “looovveee youuuu” on the same day, and neither had an answer to why Work It‘s pilot was picked up by ABC. And Al Roker made out with Willard Scott. At the bitter end, the Today show played highlights from the 60th anniversary celebration it just aired, and I felt as if I had become trapped in some space-time continuum where I would never move on from today.
  • I missed the second episode of Work It. If you are unfamiliar with the sitcom, stop reading and live your life in the peace and happiness one can only possess from being ignorant of this show. Although I did not watch it, this is what I believed happened: All the women in the office realize they are experiencing menstrual synchrony.  Lee plays along to fit in. When a colleague can’t find ketchup for the hotdog she ordered at lunch, Lee pulls a tampon out from under his dress covered in ketchup. “Will this do?” he quips. The other girls titter. “Oh my god, I was soooo going to do that too,” squeals Monique. They laugh and launch into a pillow fight.
  • The Golden Globes are Sunday. The opening number is the cast of The Jersey Shore reenacting scenes from The Human Centipede 2. Do not click on the link and read about this movie if you want to continue a life of peace and happiness
  • Twinkies are dead. Long live Twinkies.
  • Sarah Palin Explains Why Santorum Rises to the Top” is a most excellent headline if you use the most current definition of Santorum.
  • Christian Mingle.com is a site designed to find God’s match for you™. It seems a tad suspect though since “red” is an option to choose for eye color and we all know who has red eyes… Ben Stein.
  • Today is Blame Someone Else Day, Happy International Skeptics Day and Make Your Dreams Come True Today.
  • Writing random lists of gibberish does nothing to alleviate writer’s block and leads to reader’s block.

Happy International Skeptics Day!!