Category Archives: Hugo

Gallbladder Secession From the Union

Posted on April 3, 2013 by

I’m losing another vestigial structure today. Little known fact in the history of Speaker7, but a week before my tonsillectomy I had a HIDA scan. I was crammed into a tube, filled with helium and then twisted into a horse … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 63 Comments

A Peen on Fire

Posted on March 8, 2013 by

If you have read the latest issue of Us Weekly, you would be aware that I have taken on the duties as the first official A Clown On Fire Wrangler™. If you haven’t read the latest issue of Us Weekly, then you … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

This is, like, stupid almost

Posted on February 19, 2013 by

Truer words have never been spoken. Bland looks really red. He is getting ready or red-dy to meet his concubines’ families. Zing! I’m here all week. AshLee, of the interestingly capitalized name, has been living for this moment or some such … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, Hugo, television, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 48 Comments

This Blog is Sponsored by the Letter…

Posted on January 27, 2013 by

We’ll get to that later. Today is le day of le birth of Le Clown. If it had fallen on a Monday, we would have likely gotten a day off from work. Something to live for next year, I guess. … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

Everything’s Coming Up Roses

Posted on January 7, 2013 by

I have been asked to participate in a local variety show that will have its premiere in April. This is kind of great especially since I made one of my New Year’s resolution: “Be like super famous and shit.” Nearly … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 80 Comments

“Celebrity” Apprentice

Posted on January 5, 2013 by

I think I need an assistant. I’m finding it difficult to juggle the demands of writing this sentence with watching Adam Richman scarf down an entire family of four on Man v. Food. I want to be able to explore … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

Speaker7 Moves to Canada

Posted on December 17, 2012 by

Not really, but I do have a new post up today at Canadica. I’m hoping this is the correct link. If that didn’t work, just click on Canadica and it will take you there. Just so you know and won’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , | 78 Comments

Speaker7 Attempts Some Type of Reader Giveaway Thingy

Posted on December 9, 2012 by

Some jerk said it is always better to give than receive. That jerk obviously was never the recipient of a lamp with the Serenity Prayer etched into the glass. I received one of those as a high school graduation present … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 92 Comments

Will You Take It In the Ear With Me?

Posted on December 7, 2012 by

So a lot of shit has been happening. . . not monumental shits, but those little rabbit pellets that make going number 2 so uncomfortable and unsatisfying. First off, my son has been sick since Saturday. He is very tired … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 90 Comments

Desperately Seeking Hugo

Posted on November 29, 2012 by

Hugo is lonely, guys. He would never publicly admit this, but he has grown tired of making out with his reflection and longs for the touch of a real woman. I know this because I found Hugo’s profile on Christian … Continue reading →

Posted in Hugo, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 78 Comments