Trump Stump

Oh, bless his little orange, puffy face!

Donald Trump may seek the GOP nomination for govenor of New York.


This is news, people.

In the same way, it was news when Donald Trump declared he was running for president those 4,001,321 times. Or when he fashioned that ridiculous hair mop he wears on his head from wood shavings and a can of KRAFT® Easy Cheese.

The frequent-bankruptcy-filing “billionaire” says he is considering running because he is a paranoid delusional narcissist who believes he farts gold nuggets believes he can win.

donaldnoneckTrump was at some Republican fundraiser on Friday to talk about the dangers of over-tanning prove that a person can still communicate even when it’s clear one’s brain is disconnected from one’s spinal cord.

trumpedhairI’m not a fan of Gov. Andrew Cuomo. I voted for him only because the other guy wanted to convert prisons into “welfare dorms.” Now if Trump seriously gets the nomination, and that is a big bloated if, I will once again be forced to cast a vote for a politician who routinely denigrates my profession as an educator–as if we are all educators at Donald Trump University.

At the $100-per-person event, Trump outlined his platform. He would turn New York into the energy capitol. He has volunteered to act as the state-wide gas bag. He supports hydrofracking and wants to repeal the NY SAFE act, which requires ammunition dealers to do background checks and the creation of registry of assault weapons. It also requires mental health professionals to report credible threats made by a mental health patient.

Trump stated that he himself is licensed to carry a gun.

I wonder if I can find that number to make a report.

More importantly Trump touted his number one issue–how to stay relevant beyond his woman parade pageant and his nonCelebrity Apprentice snoozefest.

trumpissueLike I said before:

News.


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59 comments

  1. Pleeeese vote for the Trumpet, as if he became mayor of NY (sorry NY) he might be too busy to continue with his mucky plans here in the north of Scotland. I think he would come top of any poll here for most hated American – certainly in Crudden Bay.
    But come on, criticising his hair is going too far – it is a work of art and a wonder to us all…when he finally kicks the bucket it should be removed and exhibited in a museum – MOMA maybe?

    1. It might have something to do with him saying “I’m thinking of running” 456,323 times the last 10 years, and then doing nothing. He must have never read “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”

  2. You know he only wants to be the Guv as a stepping stone to King so we can all bow down to him. What he doesn’t seem to get is that we are not bowing, we are puking. Life is so confusing from his level.

  3. Speaker 7, you never disappoint.

    Sometimes, the stuff you write in the balloons could be posts onto themselves, that’s how delicious they are.

    I’d rather vote for Donald Duck than Donald Trump.

  4. If he gets to be Mayor of New York we could have a “The Mayor Who IS The Worse Bad Joke” competition between him and Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. I think Rob Ford would win hands down, but Trump would give him a run for his money.

  5. You’ve got to be kidding me. It feels like I just woke up and it’s 2011. Come to think of it, I don’t think he’s washed his hair since 2011. Both Trump and his hair have serious longevity and I raise my large glass of irrelevance to the two of them.

  6. It’s times like this when I appreciate living in Canada. Although I’m from the states, but you know, I feel for you guys, I really do. We have our own clowns to deal with.

  7. It must be fun to be Trump. He can literally say whatever is buried in that squirrel nest on his brain and people will put a microphone in front of his gob and broadcast it. He’s going to need to repeal all gun laws though if he wants to wrestle the ‘energy capitol’ status from Houston. So at least his platform is well thought out that way.

      1. Most news channels are the basic equivalent of putting youtube on random, sadly. Mixed bag of animals behaving badly and people prancing around in front of webcams.

    1. Cuomo has probably found some way to shrink himself down to Tinkerbell to whisper into Trump’s ear how much he should run. That would be an early Christmas gift.

  8. We can turn New York into energy capital just by rubbing Trump’s hair with a piece of rubber and letting the resulting static electricity power the city.
    And the upstate could be powered by the wind farm running on hot air coming out of Donald’s mouth.

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