Best Politician’s Wife

Today I will be going on a “lit drop.”

This is not to be confused with a “trou drop” the act where one drops one’s pants in public. This is where I go to strangers’ houses and drop campaign literature in the hopes that they do not notice and/or berate me. At these moments, I wish for the stealth of Santa Claus or that guy who drops his candy wrappers in my empty recycling bins without fail every trash day.

I may have mentioned Mr. Speaker7 is running for elected office. He has been going door-to-door since June. On Tuesday it all comes to a close.

I’ve been helping out by grumbling “I fucking hate this” the five seconds I see him during the week and doing this lit drop three days before election day. My joke is that I’m planning to vote for his opponents.

I think I will win as “Best Politican’s Wife.”

This is my second lit drop. I did another before the primary in September. One household had a sweet set of rusty chainsaws on their front porch. At another I had some bearded guy leer at me “You don’t have to worry about getting fat, you walk so fast.”

There’s a reason for that, Beard Guy, and it might have a little something to do with you.

I do so love the general public. This was why whenever a man-on-the-street reporting assignment came up, I was the first to run out onto a highway to get flattened by a tractor trailer. Ooh, really?!? Can I knock on people’s doors and ask them about the hotter-than-hellfire weather?

But I’m doing it again. I’m doing it because Mr. Speaker7 is a rarity in this political time. He believes government does provide services that can help a community grow and prosper. He believes government is a necessity in a functioning democracy.  His opponents believe government is the problem, and the only solution is to make it ineffective by rendering it useless. Cuts and privatization for all!

This guy knows what I’m talking about:

dafuk?

Right on, man. You do realize you’re standing on a road that was built by the government, right?

This month the Hon. Speaker7 will be writing a daily post as part of the Nano Pablona Team. They won’t all be winners, people, but hopefully Mr. Speaker7 will be. Don’t forget to vote on Tuesday. 

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25 comments

  1. Do you live here in New Jersey?! Are you married to Chris Christie? Gosh, that’d be tough.

    I look at people who have political aspirations with an equal mix of admiration and abject horror. It’s such a slog. I don’t know why anyone would do it. Best o’ luck. No matter the outcome, you win. I never plug a post because I think it’s in poor taste, but in a timely confluence, I just did a post about a right wing zealot who ran in a special election a few weeks ago. He even dragged Sarah Palin out onto the campaign trail with him. He had a terrible attitude. Click over if want to wretch. It’s the type of thing Mr. Speaker7 is up against.

    Look at that! Two days in and still going strong! Go speaker7! Go NaNoFaLaTiDo!

  2. Go for it Mrs AND Mr. Speaker7!!!!! You and I will always agree on this (ok, so on just about everything except for 50 Shades.

    The in it’s who irritate me most in Vir-gin-i-i-Ay are the ones who drive down my roads, with the DON’T TREAD ON ME license plates that they had to pay the guv’ment extra for. Such stupidity.

    May your husband be part of a thorough sweep out of the GOP. and so you can go back to avoiding Bubbas.

  3. But the government is evil! Which is why we want them to control women’s bodies and continue to issue our Social Security checks and bail out our banks and of course we’ll still use their roads and post office, etc, but never forget the government is EVIL! Especially with the spawn of Satan in charge and bley frcik wobkjl; kj;lzkjie;aoi (foaming at the mouth).

    Oops, I was channeling my inner Right Winger there . . . that was frightening.

  4. Good luck with the lit drop and the election. Oh, and I wouldn’t worry about the rusty chainsaw house. I’d be much more concerned if they had a shiny lovingly-maintained chainsaw on the front porch.

  5. The fact that you’re a politician’s wife is pretty awesome. I imagine you wearing a strand of pearls, deep throating a corn dog while your closeted husband does his best jazz hands impression. Oh wait, that’s Michele Bachmann…

  6. This explains the political posts. If I was married to a politician (I just threw up in my mouth a little), I would probably do exactly what you are doing, but only if he threatened to withhold sex from me if I didn’t.

  7. My dad was a politician for awhile. That’s a tough gig for the whole family, so even though your post made me laugh and clap and generally be as excited as I normally am– I just want to say: Good job, you’re awesome, and *hugs*. :D

  8. Good luck to your husband, I hope he makes it. I really don’t understand what drives people to vote for candidates who run on the platform “Government is the problem, and I want to be part of that problem”.

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