How To Put Together Porch Furniture

speaker7:

Just like the work of another carpenter I know, I think my craftsmanship is almost god-like. Check it out on The Official How To Blog.

Originally posted on The Official How To Blog:

Spring is here, and with that the obligation to do things outside and make property look acceptable to judging neighbors.

A few months back, I purchased a home in a family-friendly neighborhood. My previous home fronted a four-lane state highway and was a block away from the local hospital. This passed for landscape design:

amazingdecorIt set the perfect backdrop for the time my neighbor’s daughter decided to pour gasoline onto my driveway.

But now I must keep up with the Jones’ or the Smith’s or whatever their names may be, I’m not very neighborly. So I ordered wicker porch chairs from Target. This is how they arrived:

This does not look like a chair.

This does not look like a chair.

And this is how my amazing how-to on How To Put Together Porch Furniture came into being.

Step 1. Open box and dump out all the parts. Weep.

chairinpartsStep 2: Look for the directions.

"Helloooooooo??"

“Helloooooooo??”

Step…

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