You have just started a blog. No one cares.
Follow these sure-fire steps to increase your readership tenfold. Do not be swayed by the fact that this blog has no followers. It will once I follow the steps that I will create from consulting a magic eight ball.
Step 1: Write about popular topics. Simply mentioning Fifty Shades will drive traffic to your blog.
Came across this new blog. It's outstanding! Do I think this because I created it? That is as much of a mystery as what happened to the first six speakers. Don't feel obligated to follow although I will engage in step 4 if you don't, and it will be uncomfortable and awkward for all involved. This blog is also looking for writers--unpaid of course because money corrupts all--so if interested, contact TOHTB today.
I do the peeing and crying in person all the time. It works for almost anything.
I could swear there was a David Bowie somewhere in your composition. Then again, perhaps David Bowie *is* your composition.