Post-Tonsillectomy Adventures

Many of you have been asking about my tonsillectomy recovery.

This may be something I hallucinated. I’m on some pretty strong painkillers.

It turns out it wasn’t such a bad idea to read tonsillectomy horror stories online. It makes the throat and ear pain seem not so bad compared to those who complain of choking on phlegm, vomiting blood, transforming into werewolves, etc.

I’ve mainly been sucking down pureed cauliflower and watching DVDs of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. All in all, not too shabby.

But it’s nothing compared to what my tonsils have been doing.

Apparently the infected duo had a bucket list, and in less than a week, have crossed 10 items of their list.

1. Meet other vestigial organs

appendix

2. Visit an art gallery

tonsilsatgallery

3. Go parasailing

parasailing

4. Go horseback riding

horse-running-beach

5. Play music on a street corner

streetcorner

6. Get interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today show

mattlauer

7. Climb Mt. Everest

everest1

8. Perform stand up

standup

9. Enter a hot dog eating contest

hotdogcontest

10. Meet E.L. James

eljames

What’s on your bucket list?

About these ads

70 comments

  1. Thank you for making me laugh so hard on a Pre Christmas Saturday morning. I want to finish the last Fifty shades book without wanting to vomit and kick Anastasia Steele’s idiotic ass.

  2. Damn, I’m glad they ran out on you. Hope you are enjoying your rest and relaxation while hauling heavy boxes, unpacking them, bending over and standing back up. Yup. That all sounds wonderfully restful.

    At least you have the drugs.

      1. Glad it is over for you, finally. And I can’t believe you read that stuff on the internets. There really are times when ignorance is bliss!

  3. My bucket list consists of two small plastic ones with sea-shell patterns embossed (for beach days), one aluminium bucket (for heavy garden work) and a tiny bucket I got from a christmas cracker which has turned out to be perfect for my hamsters slopping out bucket (he’s currently in jail for biting my son!)

  4. Speaker7,
    I don’t understand the above comments. There is only one thing to say about this post:
    BEST GODDAMN POST OF THE MONTH.
    Le Clown

  5. They’re not doing all this on your credit card, are they? I mean, I don’t know if tonsils can get their own plastic, so I hope they didn’t swipe yours. Maybe they are using Hugo’s credit? Glad to know, though, that you’re doing okay enough to post again. Yay!

    Seriously, though, I’d check my credit report for ex-tonsil activity.

  6. I thought tonsils looked like dew-covered rose petals or something. Now, because of this post, I’m going to go remove my own tonsils with a grapefruit spoon out of spite for their ugliness.

    Glad you are alive — I hope you feel better soon, S7!

  7. This entire post was hilarious, but for some reason, when I scrolled to the photo of the tonsils playing music on the street corner, I laughed so hard I spit out my hot cocoa. Too bad my tonsils didn’t come out with it. I’m with Angie, I had no idea they looked so revolting.

    Hope you get some relief soon! Or at least, relief from eating pureed cauliflower!

  8. Darn those tonsils of yours- I have only half a thyroid left and now it’s demanding to go horseback riding along a sandy shoreline, too!

  9. I think posts are better on painkillers. My pneumonia ones were tons of fun. I think. Wait – did I write those things? I forget.

    And yeah, your tonsils do get out more than I do. But at least they got out. Now if only your tonsils could finish up the last 50 Shades book . . .

    1. I believe you wrote posts during your pneumonia. Or I could have just hallucinated that. Yes, the last book. The last book is very difficult to get through. I don’t even think my tonsils can help you.

  10. What’s a tonsillectomy? Can I get one at Toys r Us before Christmas? Is it gender neutral, or do I have to find a his and hers?
    Did my brain melt and dribble out of my ears just now?
    Cabbages.

  11. You are HILARIOUS! Every time I think you’ve written your best post ever, your next one outdoes it! Congrats on yet another great post – I’m exhausted, and yet somehow you’ve made me laugh myself back to a wakeful state. I

  12. Watching Buffy? You. Are. The. Best. And so is Buffy! If only Ana was like Buffy, then she would’ve kicked Christian’s ass and staked him. Would’ve been awesome. Also, watching Buffy is way better than doing hotdog eating with your tonsils, they’d probably cheat and put something in your food to make you sick and lose.

    1. That’s so great to hear. Wouldn’t it be amazing if my tonsils had your blog on their bucket list? I’ll have to ask them. They’re touring the wineries in California at the moment.

  13. Glad you survived your tonsillectomy well enough to share this documentary about the secret lives of removed tonsils. I predict that The Discovery Channel should come calling soon or my name’s not Rufus T. Firefly.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s