Monthly Archives: April 2012

The Brain is a Battlefield

Posted on April 30, 2012 by

You know how you’re belting the words to Pat Benatar’s Love is a Battlefield while on the toilet, and your husband asks you: “Hey, wasn’t that song in a movie?” And you reply: “Yes, yes it was. It was in the … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media | Tagged , , , , | 41 Comments

To Sweet Mother with Love

Posted on April 29, 2012 by

I am not one to toot my own horn. In fact I could barely toot that trumpet I played in the school band with those lovely braces on my teeth and my uncontrollable giggling at the word diaphragm. But I … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , | 13 Comments

Gift Ideas for Every Mom

Posted on April 28, 2012 by

It used to be so easy with Mother’s Day. You took a frozen orange juice container, glued a piece of shag carpet around it–and presto instant carpet-covered frozen orange juice container. But moms want us to “step up our game” … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

The Doppleganger is Not My Son

Posted on April 25, 2012 by

One should never indulge one’s doppelgänger. I have one. Speaker7doppelganger was created when I cruelly packed my old blog address’s bag and sent it packing. She then appeared on my doorstep, calling me mama. She stayed a few days until … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , | 14 Comments

Putt-putt

Posted on April 23, 2012 by

If you’ve been reading this site recently or not reading it, which happens a lot, you are aware that some wires were yanked out or chewed on causing new posts not to appear in the reader. The brilliant and macabre … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , | 27 Comments

Here Comes the Skeleton

Posted on April 22, 2012 by

It seems some women are a little obsessed with their wedding days. Like this woman: She’s having a feeding tube inserted into her nose to maintain an 800-calorie-a-day diet. And she’s having a New York Times photographer take her picture … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

My Site Stats Suck Seashells

Posted on April 20, 2012 by

I never got much traction to begin with, but now I’m beginning to believe the tractor is broken down in a fallow field. My site stats have plummeted dramatically. Why just yesterday I saw a tumbleweed blow through my dashboard. … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , | 49 Comments

RIP Bully McMully

Posted on April 18, 2012 by

Bully McMully is dead. That’s not his name. His name has been changed to protect the living–mainly me. His name was something that didn’t rhyme, but we changed it so that it did. We thought it was clever, the “we” … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

This Post is Brought to You By Metamucil

Posted on April 16, 2012 by

There are heroes out there people. We might disagree over what makes someone a hero. I personally think it’s butt-accentuating tights. You might think a hero is someone who has the ability to blog about heroes wearing butt-accentuating tights while … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

New World Order

Posted on April 14, 2012 by

The times they are a-changin’ as Kevin Dillon sang on Entourage. As much as we try to cling to the past, we must sometimes set something we love free and then drink ourselves blind until we pass out in a gutter. That … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , | 25 Comments