Tag! You’re it! No I’m It! No you! Aww..I ain’t gonna play anymore.

Janie Has a Blog tagged me a few days ago. She hopes to find out information about me much in the same way biologist tag animals to discover such things as their migratory habits or favorite Real Housewife.

Since I’ve mainly been writing about turds, I thought this would make a nice diversion from my weekly routine, and will do everything in my power to make my answers turd-free (fyi–i am very weak and have very ineffectual power).

This game has rules:

1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!

Here are the questions Janie asked:

1.) What is your biggest regret in life? Watching the movie Glitter

2.) What makes you angry? Thinking about the regret I feel from watching the movie Glitter.

3.) Are you capable of forgiving and forgetting? I forgot this question and I forgive myself for forgetting. 

4.) What do you consider the biggest fight you’ve ever had in your life? I had just moved from New Jersey to California because my mom got a new job. For some reason this group of guys begin targeting and bullying me. At the school dance, I decided to exact revenge. One of the guys was rolling a joint in the bathroom stall, and I surreptitiously snaked a hose over the top and let the water pour in. The gang caught up with me and almost gave me the beating of my life until they were stopped by the maintenance guy at my apartment complex who turned out to be a martial arts expert. Now that I think about, this is actually a scene from The Karate Kid.

5.) What is the ugliest part of your personality? I say outright lies to sway people to think a certain way…oh, wait I just turned into a politician for a second, sorry about that. My ugliest part of my personality is my giant butt. 

6.) Do you choose to see the best or the worst in people? Why? I’m incapable of seeing anything but turds. 

7.) Do you think other life forms exist in the universe? Yes..proof

8.) If God were to grant you a wish, what would it be? More ketchup

9.) What would you do if a stranger threw a spoon at you? (This happened to me!) Likely nothing at the moment, but I would give that stranger the Turd of the Week™ award.

10.) You are sky diving and you realize that you can’t open your parachute so, in a few moments you are about to die. What do you think would be your last thoughts? I wish I could post this on Facebook. 

11.) What will you do tomorrow? Throw a spoon at a stranger.

Here are the questions for the people I’m tagging

1.) Which member of the Backstreet Boys are you most like?

2.) What did Bruce Jenner do to his face?

3.) Please explain what a Kim Kardashian is and why anyone would know what a Kim Kardashian is?

4.) How doomed are we?

5.) Is Ryan Seacrest a robot or is he something less artificial?

6.) Why isn’t Rush Limbaugh kicked in the nuts daily?

7.) Which religion is correct?

8.) Can you think of someone who is worse than the current slate of Republican presidential candidates?

9.) Why do people enjoy the book Twilight?

10.) What’s up?

11.) How many Academy Awards will Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance win?

Here are the people I’m tagging:

Angie from Childhood Relived

Les from Best Bathroom Books

Life in the Boomer Lane

Becoming Cliche

Man of Errors

Nancy from Not Quite Old

Chris Sheridan of Word Play

Logyexpress

Elyse of Fifty Four and a Half

Lyssapants of Psychobabble

Gilly and Patrick of It Happens Every Day

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20 comments

  1. I am blown away at being on the list. For reasons known only to me and my therapist, I don’t participate in tags or recess. I adore you and so I will answer several of your questions: 4)If we were any more doomed, we’d all be buried up to the neck in sand with army ants eating our faces 6) I can’t even think about Rush Limbaugh without activating my IBS 7)The one that is followed by the least number of people in the most inaccessible place on earth 8) yes, the people who would vote for them

    1. Thank you for answering my questions about the migratory habits of Real Housewives…wait is that what this is about? I’m delirious from tagging people and eating Thin Mints.
      While all of your answers were outstanding to be expected, #4 was particularly awesome.

  2. Uh, um, I religiously read everyone of your blogs ’cause you’re so damn funny. You didn’t say something about tagging me, did you? I think I missed that part.
    I love your answers and I want more turds.
    PS-Judeo-Christianity is the best religion, obvi. Since my Mom was Catholic and my Dad Jewish, I learned to turn someone’s cheek while removing one of their eyes.

  3. For a moment, I wondered, am I in love with Speaker7? But then I learned you were not actually Ralph Macchio and were merely pretending to be. What a cruel joke.

    Okay, I’ll be It. I got nada to write about this week so thanks for this.

    1. Believe me, when I was typing it, I was in love with myself and started to post pictures of myself on my bedroom wall. And then my husband said what are you doing and I said “Bonsai!!!!!” It was magical.

      Thanks for playing.

  4. God damn it, I didn’t learn anything new about you from reading these responses and I am nosy. But “I wish I could post this on Facebook” made me laugh out loud, and I’m not just saying that to kiss up like I sometimes do. I’m honored to be tagged…since there’s no way I’m going to come up with better questions, the buck stops here in your comments.

    1.) Which member of the Backstreet Boys are you most like? I am way too lazy to click on your link to learn the names of the Backstreet Boys, so I’m going with Justin Timberlake.

    2.) What did Bruce Jenner do to his face? I haven’t seen Bruce Jenner since he was on the Wheaties box. What’s he up to these days?

    3.) Please explain what a Kim Kardashian is and why anyone would know what a Kim Kardashian is? I am aware Kim Kardashian exists because I keep hearing her name. Then I say “who?” but the explanation always sounds like an adult in the Peanuts cartoons so I never actually learn what a Kim Kardashian is.

    4.) How doomed are we? We are fucked.

    5.) Is Ryan Seacrest a robot or is he something less artificial? I’m not sure, have you ever seen him get wet? We can chase him with a hose like in Splash.

    6.) Why isn’t Rush Limbaugh kicked in the nuts daily? Who says he isn’t? Something has to be making him that pissed off at women.

    7.) Which religion is correct? The one in the Thorn Birds.

    8.) Can you think of someone who is worse than the current slate of Republican presidential candidates? Yes. What 15 years at my job has taught me is that it can always get worse.

    9.) Why do people enjoy the book Twilight? This helped me sleep better at night. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4uuGvmAxTI

    10.) What’s up? You know, just trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination.

    11.) How many Academy Awards will Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance win? I’m guessing it’ll sweep since they’ll clearly give any old shit an award.

    1. Thank you for Epipheo video. I feel like I owe you kidney or something for it. Or at least better answers to tag questions to fulfill your need to know-sey.

  5. It’s been a long, long time since I played tag and it was with a ball. The rules seem to have changed. Is this how kids play tag now? With a computer?

    “Thank you”. I will do my best.

  6. “I wish I could post this on facebook”. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud in the subway while reading this.
    Thanks for answering my questions!
    By the way, what IS a Kim Kardashian?

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