“It Makes (Me) a (Turd), Right?”

It must be hard to have had four wives, and to be a recovering Oxycontin addict.

Maybe that’s why radio “personality” Rush Limbaugh says horrible, horrible things? All the time. Why just yesterday, he referred to the woman who was banned from speaking at a Congressional hearing on birth control religious freedom as a “slut.”

“What does it say about the college co-ed Sandra Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex, what does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. What does that make us? We’re the pimps,” Rush huffed into his microphone, his jowls flapping in indignation.

Well she didn’t actually go before a congressional committee because the head of the congressional committee felt she had no place in a discussion about birth control…er…religious freedom. That was the place of a number of religious men.

But Rush has a point. Are we suppose to be these women’s pimps, dawg? Wait–if we’re the pimps, do we get in on the action, baby? Show daddy some sugar, baby. Aw, now you’re making Speaker7 Daddy angry, baby, and you do not want to make Speaker7 Daddy angry. Speaker7 Daddy does not like to mess up his merchandise, but he will, if he have to, right baby?

What is it with these women wanting to slut it up by controlling the number of children they have? I remember when a friend of mine went on the pill in college to deal with her highly irregular periods, I thought: “slutbag.”

Oh, I know..I know. I know why Rush is so upset. When Rush was buying his Oxycontin illegally, he was not being reimbursed by his insurance company. That is so unfair!! When Rush was lying on his couch in an Oxycontin-induced stupor, fiddling with his nonexistent penis, some college slut was regulating her menstrual cycle in a very slut-tastic manner.

In between her bouts of sex, Sandra Fluke has spoken out against Rush Limbaugh saying “No woman deserves to be disrespected in this manner.”

A cowed Rush said today she should buy $1 condom at CVS if she wants to continue to be the whore she is.

Maybe that’s the Oxycontin-craving talking….or maybe it makes Rush a turd, right?

Yeah, a turd. In fact, a Turd of the Week™. Enjoy it, slut!

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32 comments

  1. A truly vile and disgusting excuse for a human being, and an excellent choice for turd of the week! Still have never forgiven Limbaugh for accusing Michael J Fox of exaggerating his Parkinson’s disease symptoms, and I never cease to be amazed and outraged by the foul excrement that routinely issues forth from this man’s mouth!

    1. I still can’t believe he’s still around. I was hoping by this point that his hate would have completely consumed him and nothing would be left but a shit stain on the floor of his radio studio.

  2. This birth control shit (ha!) is really starting to make me homicidal. I don’t want kids, so I have no sense of humor about birth control restrictions. I’m also starting to worry about how many of your posts have turd in the title. People need to stop being such giant turds, because the Today Show is feeling neglected.

    1. I know. Seriously we’re debating birth control in 2012? Seriously? I could see if this were the 1960s and birth control was just popping up on the scene. But now?

      I promise I will post something about Matt Lauer interviewing the important figures of the world..maybe his interview with Lindsey Lohan?

  3. I just have to say, “…his jowls flapping in indignation” is perhaps the greatest quote of our time. That made me “LOL”… for reals. Yo.

  4. Wait, I really don’t know this: Did she really say that the Gov should pay for birth control pills because some girls are having so much sex in college that they can’t afford their own contraception?

    1. Like a Lifetime Turdchievement Award? And then I can post his greatest hits of turdom. This will likely take me 2 to 3 years to complete because he is such a gigantic turdball.

  5. I can’t believe that some people want INSURANCE to pay for contraception. If they don’t want to get knocked up, they need to just go over to Planned Parenthood. Oh…wait…

  6. If he wasn’t such a pillar of family values, I would wonder why he is even on the air anymore.

    I wish he’d just shut his flappy yap. Wait, but not before he shoves that giant turd into his mouth.

    1. I’m wondering why this is even news? Rush Limbaugh said something vile…that’s like reporting that today is Saturday. It is something that happens all the time. He is awful all the time.

  7. Dead on Daddy Speaker7. What’s most amazing is that Rush Limbaugh, with his tiny flaccid penis (hard to find under his giant jowl-like belly) needs drugs. It cries out for them. And he takes them by the mouthful but Micro-Rush still won’t get hard.
    Sorry Buddy, but you still have to pay even if you can’t perform. Otherwise Daddy Speaker7 will have go craze on yo ass.

  8. But I’m sure Viagra is a covered medication for all these decrepit old shits who like to decide things for women. Excellent choice for turd of the week. And he does deserve a Lifetime Achievement Award for volume of excrement over the years…

    1. Of course Viagra is covered. How else would someone doped up on Oxycontin, hatred and Oreos get it up for his 10th wife? That is a serious health issue.

  9. Slut-tastic? Wow, I’m definitely going to be working that into conversation over the weekend.

    While I was in Japan the men in Japan’s government made it super easy to get viagra super fast… the pill? Well, that’s different… I guess it can be available, but only in a really regulated and humiliating way. The double standards in this debate are always astonishing.

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