Monthly Archives: March 2012

A Gift from the Direct Mail Gods

Posted on March 31, 2012 by

As you know, I received a non-pink pink slip the other day. At first, things seemed bleak, but as the saying goes: “When one door closes, a mailbox opens and in that mailbox is a barely glued flyer containing the … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

A Pink Slip Isn’t Pink

Posted on March 29, 2012 by

So you’ve just been handed a letter. You may be confused at first. You thought pink slips were pink. That’s what television has taught you–that, and when you stand up to someone, someone else will inevitably start a slow clap, … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Geraldo Geraldon’t

Posted on March 26, 2012 by

TV “journalist” Geraldo Rivera recently said if you present yourself a certain way expect a certain reaction from people. I’m paraphrasing. Geraldo actually used the word “gangsta” and kept saying “gangsta,” really overemphasizing the “sta” of the “gangsta” to an … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, television, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 29 Comments

Will Work For Job

Posted on March 24, 2012 by

I have a knack for entering a career at the exact moment that career begins to decline. I worked as a newspaper reporter in a bureau that currently no longer exists. I got out at the right time (after the … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments

I Take My Burka in an Extra Large.

Posted on March 20, 2012 by

Do things seem weird? A little, right? They do. They do seem weird because they are. I started my Turd of the Week™ segment as a lark, not expecting that elected officials would get so weird about women. But weird … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Stillborn Turd

Posted on March 13, 2012 by

What are the differences between cows and women? I’m sorry I should probably rephrase that. Are there any differences between cows and women? Hmmm. I honestly don’t know. They both produce milk. They both can be moo-thers (did you see … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

Hall of Famous Turd

Posted on March 10, 2012 by

I am appalled. I am appalled that Missouri allows its Hall of Famous Missourians to be denigrated in such manner, but alas it is true. The Hall of Famous Missourians will soon feature a bronze replica of the medicine ball-sized … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Stop the (Word)Presses!!!

Posted on March 6, 2012 by

Can we do that? Because we need to stop everything right now! Right. Now. I have a HUGE announcement. So stop. Stop it. Stop. Stop it. Stop doing that, whatever you happen to be doing. Stop breathing…no wait, you still … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Tag! You’re it! No I’m It! No you! Aww..I ain’t gonna play anymore.

Posted on March 4, 2012 by

Janie Has a Blog tagged me a few days ago. She hopes to find out information about me much in the same way biologist tag animals to discover such things as their migratory habits or favorite Real Housewife. Since I’ve … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

“It Makes (Me) a (Turd), Right?”

Posted on March 1, 2012 by

It must be hard to have had four wives, and to be a recovering Oxycontin addict. Maybe that’s why radio “personality” Rush Limbaugh says horrible, horrible things? All the time. Why just yesterday, he referred to the woman who was … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 32 Comments