Monthly Archives: February 2012

Google Search “What is Coprophagia?”

Posted on February 28, 2012 by

On Thursday, Google will plant a chip in your brain that will allow advertisers to feed Doritos’ commercials directly into your cerebral cortex. That sentence might not be entirely accurate, but I know Google is changing something about its privacy … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

“My (Turds) Were Emotional, Reactionary, and Inflammatory”

Posted on February 24, 2012 by

Bob Morris is sorry, you guys. He is deeply sorry. He is so so sorry that his letter calling the Girl Scouts of America a lair of anal-lovin’, communist-sympathizen’, abortion-havin’ Planned Parenthood lovers made it out of his protective lair … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

At Least the Cookies are Good

Posted on February 21, 2012 by

I used to be a girl scout. I didn’t last very long. Six months, tops. I don’t like camping or people or camping with people. I like Girl Scout cookies. I like the eating of Girl Scout cookies, not the … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

A Turdendum

Posted on February 18, 2012 by

I held Darrell Issa’s hand the first time he got his period. He was worried. “Am I going to die?” he asked through his tears. “I feel like I’m dying. The blood. The pain.” “You’re not dying, you’re becoming a … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

The Greatest Turd of All

Posted on February 16, 2012 by

The night Whitney Houston died, I remember clearly thinking: I wonder what Bill O’Reilly thinks about this? Lucky for me–and the world–he shared his views on his show and in his column and later again on the Today show and … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

To Know the Actual Love For You

Posted on February 14, 2012 by

Wouldn’t that be something–especially today of all days, the 14th day in the month-long celebration of National Bird Feeding? To know the actual love the actual someone has for the actual person who is you? I wish there was a … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Ronald Reagan’s name is mentioned in this post.

Posted on February 10, 2012 by

I’m drunk. This was unintended. I knew I needed to write a Turd of the Week™ post. The orphans of America need it. The widows of America need it. The widowed orphans of America need it. But let’s say it: … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, Turd of the Week™, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

The Turd Towers

Posted on February 2, 2012 by

I am a worrier. I worry about my job security in the public sector. I worry that I can’t leave the hangnail on my thumb alone and will result in me peeling off all my thumb skin. I worry my … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television, Turd of the Week™ | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments