Politicians Say the Darndest Things.

Occasionally a kernel of truth rises above all the noise and overload in our media-saturated society, and it makes you tear out your ear buds, log out of Facebook, turn off your TV, pause your Xbox, switch your ringer to vibrate and deflate your blow-up doll so you can let that truth wash over you as if you were in a truth carwash.

Bob Marshall, an actual elected representative in Virginia, called for an end to state funding of Planned Parenthood because nature takes its vengeance on women who abort fetuses by giving them defective babies.

Now some are in a tizzy over this remark claiming it’s batshit crazy (I’m paraphrasing), but I applaud Bob Marshall for being so upfront about the numerous abortions his mother clearly had that left him with the traumatic brain damage he suffers from today.

Mothers should breathe easy that while nature may be throwing tsunamis into their damaged-by-abortion birth canals, their handicapped children could someday be elected to public office and say the most abhorrent statements imaginable.

Now Bob is a little upset that his remarks were being posted on social networking sites leading to online petitions calling for his resignation when usually he could say this crazy shit without anyone batting an eye misconstrued by journalists whose moms clearly had abortions causing them to have the taking-out-of-context handicap and write that a elected representative actually felt it appropriate to say God punished women for abortions. He never said God was punishing women for their sinful ways. He said nature. And really, it’s punishing the kids.

Whew! Thank Nature that was cleared up. I’m sure the millions of children with disabilities feel better too.

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19 comments

  1. It is truly wonderful to live here in the great state of Virginia. Really. Please come and try it too, and then maybe there would be a few more sane voters here in the Old Dominion.

  2. This is why nothing is black and white as much as human piles of garbage like Marshall like to pretend. I’m sorry for what happened, that must have been unbearably painful.

  3. This just gets so old.
    Hey Bob, how many black crack babies have you adopted?
    Hey Bob, when’s the last time you went down to the orphanage and brought home the abused and underpriveldged kids that no one wants?
    Hey Bob, when’s the last time you were pregnant from rape or incest?
    If you answered negative to any of these questions, you might want to figure out why your nature is to tell everybody else what to do with their bodies. Very few people are gleeful about getting an abortion, but sometimes it’s a necessary fact of life Bob.
    PS-Have you heard of a miscarriage? Yeah, that’s “Nature” deciding to abort.

    1. I’m sorry, didn’t you know that life is only precious inside the womb? Once you’re outside, it’s good luck kid…and I’m going to cut any program that helps you while continuing corporate welfare.

      1. I remember when Jon Stewart suggested we refer to children as “former embryos.” That is, of course, the only way to protect the borned.

  4. Wow. I’m now furious at someone I’d never heard of ten minutes ago. How do people like him sleep at night?

    I admit that I have my own fair share of non-PC opinions. (I refuse to believe that anyone thinks in PC terms all the time.) But here’s the thing — I have this amazing thing called “self control” that allows me to decide whether my opinion is worth mentioning to the whole world. You know, before it blurts itself out of my mouth and into the pages of social media history.

    And I’m not an elected official, who’s entire job is to be a representative of the people and their opinions. Nice job, Bob. I wonder if you’d be singing the same tune if it was your wife or mother or daughter in the difficult position of having to choose whether to continue with a pregnancy.

    All that aside, I loved your take on it.

  5. It took me awhile to find out which part of Virginia this asshole comes from. I was hoping it was the little known sewer district. Alas, he is from Prince William Country, which is too close to home. I can’t even joke about this. I’m irate.

    1. Just think — they are considering running Gov McDonnell as the VP nominee. I think that I will work really hard against that ticket — we’d get Cuccinelli in the Governor’s mansion.

  6. wow. will politicians ever learn? i’d never heard of this goon, but i bet his asshole is jealous of all the shit that comes out of his mouth (i got that from my BFF, pinterest, and have been waiting for just the PERFECT person to call it on). so, thank you speaker7 for giving me that opportunity. what a plumbnutcrazy.

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