I learn so much as a human being who has eyes and ears and occasional numbness in my pinky toe. But I had no idea how much I repressed what I said until I saw this on Facebook:
I wept silently into my Old Glory hotpants for about an hour. But after my crying jag, I felt liberated. Clearly Christmas is under attack. Why else would Christmas decorations go up Oct. 25 when they should be up after July 4th? The intention is to rip this holy commercial holiday right out of baby Jesus’ tiny baby hands and beat the crap out of it with baseball bats emblazoned with the slogan: “Happy Holidays from Al Qaeda!”
But guys.. did you know it’s okay to say “Merry Christmas” and “God Bless America” without being struck down by the iron fist of straw men? I feel like a giant weight made out of air has been lifted off my shoulders.
However this got me thinking: what else is it “okay to say” that for some reason or other I wasn’t saying because it was not beautifully set against a backdrop of a waving flag?
Get ready for some freedomy freedom being freedomed your way:
And lastly my favorite:
Hahahaha! I feel so liberated!
It is liberating, isn’t it. I felt like I had Tourettes as I shouted “Godblessamericamerrychristmas” at every person I saw today.
As usual, hilarious!
Thanks, but these were meant to be deeply poignant. In fact I made you a Christmas quilt with all of these sayings on it.
bahaha! I love this!
Roya
http://www.royaghorbani.wordpress.com
I’m still afraid that if I let a “Happy Holidays” slip out, a Christian will have to kill me.
That actually is true. It’s included in Revelations 9:0:2:1:0
Fantastic! Can I get any of those made into, say, a ceramic coaster or a snow globe? I assume so since anything with a flag on it off-set by any sort of random slogan will almost always appear on something like an embroidered throw pillow.
I want to beat up your Facebook friends.
I believe this is the venture that will lead to us becoming billionaires and being able to construct a mansion that looks like Sean Cassidy’s face.
But that is not why we have Chinese children toil away in horrible factories to make these cheap tschotskes, we do this because we love freedom.
Merry Christmas. And God Bless America. I think I just climaxed.
That’s terrific….one of my moneymaking ideas is to put these slogans onto female enjoyment objects just like Betsy Ross intended.
Amazing. I think Happy Arbor Day & America- Fuck Yeah! is my favorite. If you make it into t-shirts or greeting cards, I’m in.
The marketing is really limitless….German beer steins, AK-47 rifles, urinal cakes, tramp stamps, hobo bags, etc.
You are SO brave to be the first to say that New Year’s Eve is expected to be a horrible movie! Thank GOD we live in a free society where you can express your opinions, and entire news programs are focused on such weighty topics. In fact, I’m feeling so totally FREE now that I’ve seen all your flags, I’m going to let rip with a Bill O’Reilly!
Thank you for acknowledging my braveness. I really felt like I was going out on a limb saying the movie will be terrible since Valentine’s Day was terrible without me having seen it.
I would love to see the word “fart in the wind” and “Bill O’Reilly” used interchangeably.
Hey wait a second. Are you making fun of the American flag? Cuz that’s not okay. And that Ashton Kutcher movie? I’m taking my whole family to see that. Do you know if it’s opening on New Year’s Eve? Because that would be really okay.
F*kin Hilar
Les
The sad thing is, so many people are taken in/distracted by the pretty colors and automatically agree with whatever is said in the name of patirotism or Christianity. I love this post.