Monthly Archives: October 2011

Kim Kardashian to divorce after only 72 days of marriage

Posted on October 31, 2011 by

I ate a sandwich today. It was peanut butter and jelly. It was okay, not great. I think it might have had too much jelly. The point is I wish I had some leftover lasagna from the previous night’s dinner, … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Forever Immobilized in Fleece

Posted on October 29, 2011 by

Some people want to be forever remembered or forever relevant. I want to be forever lazy, and lucky me, there exists an outfit to help me reach my goal. It is called Forever Lazy®. I had not known of its … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

My New Exclusive Best Friend

Posted on October 27, 2011 by

This is a momentous time. I’m not talking about the return of “Where in the World is Matt Lauer,” a segment where Matt Lauer travels to five secret destinations and everyone or no one should care, take your pick. I … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Puppet Show then Spinal Tap

Posted on October 25, 2011 by

Snooki wrote another book. It is titled The Medium is the Massage: An Inventory of Effects. That might be wrong. Anyhoo, the Today show had an exclusive interview with Snookie née Nicole Polizzi about her new book. The female anchorbot … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Posted on October 24, 2011 by

You know how you discuss your uterus at work? Yeah, I didn’t think that happened. Unless you work in a gynecology office or in porn or for Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas (Aw snap! Clarence Thomas jokes are soooooo 1991. … Continue reading →

Posted in humor | Tagged , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

What all Women Wish For

Posted on October 23, 2011 by

I’m going to talk about the Genie Bra™. The Genie Bra™ is what all women wish for. If I talk about the Genie Bra™ then I won’t have to think about Paranormal Activity 3 and my intention to write about … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, media | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The World Ends Today

Posted on October 21, 2011 by

I don’t really know the point of working on this post since the world is ending today. There’s a 67 percent chance the world will end before I even finish this sentence. Should I even bother with a drawing? It … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

He Brings A Lot of People

Posted on October 19, 2011 by

I have mentioned before how I’m not really up on politics, preferring to get my political news from the inside of Snapple bottle caps: Real Fact #902: Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. What the Snapple bottle cap failed … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Ghost Fatigue

Posted on October 18, 2011 by

I love watching Man V. Food on the Travel Channel. I don’t know why I find a man scarfing down an entire cow interesting, but I do. Maybe it reminds me of the time I ate 48 popsicles in one … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Deep Dark Sex Secrets 1 through 1,890

Posted on October 15, 2011 by

My life is full of regrets. I was thinking how much I do not want to be on a bed of death, lamenting all the things I should have done, but didn’t. I had not seen Maury Povich’s eponymous show … Continue reading →

Posted in entertainment, humor, media, television, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments